Lovely

17. Beyond her years, she was

As I wandered out of my room, the sound of birdsong keeping me company, I noticed that Kahlo's door was closed. That meant he was still asleep, which was strange considering every morning before that one he had woken up before me. I tiptoed over to his door and slipped inside. The sun pouring through his window didn't bother him at all. And the way that he slept, on his stomach with his face turned to the side, his curls spilt all over his pillow and his lips parted, it gripped me and moved my feet until I was standing right beside his bed. Bending down, I sprinkled kisses on his cheeks as softly as I could. After I pulled away he groaned quietly, making it obvious that he had waited for me to finish before letting me know he was awake, and grinned. "Morning sleepyhead," I whispered. He blindly reached out and stroked my cheek with his thumb. I stood back up, ran my fingers through his curls, then continued on my way downstairs.

The kitchen was empty, which was expected seeing as though I had slept in this morning. Today Kahlo and I weren't alone, the sound of laughter drifting in from outside was a sign of that. Grabbing an apple off the bench, I joined everyone outside. Mark was chasing the twins around, my mum was being led around the flowers and trees by Lacie, Del was sitting at the outside table with Theo and Callista was making her way over to me. I greeted everyone, some with kisses and some with shouts.

"Did you sleep well last night?" I asked Callista as we made our way over to a patch of shade under a tree, hand in hand.

"I guess," she shrugged.

We sat down. I crunched on my breakfast, Callista looked out at the bodies sprinting around the grass.

"Are you enjoying the summer holidays?" I shot another question at her.

"Yes, very much." A smile appeared on her face. Such a cute, yet elegant smile. A sight to see.

"That's wonderful," I smiled back, giving the knee she had closest to me a gentle squeeze.

Silence fell between us.

"Do you like Celia?"

Oh Celia. Do I like her? More than anything I've ever had the pleasure of touching with my own fingertips. But I also hate her. With so much force that my heart feels like it freezes into solid ice whenever I think about her.

"Sure," I decided to say instead. Anymore, and the words I was really thinking would have come tumbling out of my mouth uncontrollably.

"And Kahlo?"

What to say about him. More like what can I say about him? To Callista? I peered over at Callista, her face strong and her soul sturdy. The aura around her made me realise that she was capable of knowing anything and everything I could have had to say.

"I like your brother. Might even be a little bit in love." With such ease and comfort I was about to say this. I'd never been in love, and my brain screamed at my heart to stop. But I understood how I felt, and nothing that the logical part of me had to say mattered.

Callista studied me for a few moments. Thinking. Processing. Understanding. Like a grown woman, she was. So wise and knowledgeable. Beyond her years, she was.

"I know my brother. It's easy to tell just how in love he is."

It wasn't until then that I realised how irrelevant his feelings were. I knew how I felt, I wasn't bothered with whether he liked me back or not. I was confident and comfortable and unashamed. Bold in what I felt. Hearing that he felt the same didn't change anything. We could feel it in the air. Our bodies knew each other and what we were feeling. We didn't need to ask, we didn't need to discuss. I knew. He knew. But we didn't know. And that was the beauty of it.

"I slept with him. I have so much..... emotion toward him that I didn't know how else to show it."

My mouth snapped shut. I was afraid that I had crossed a line, confessing to her that I had sex with her brother. I was afraid that I had ruined a moment where we were open with each other, where all the weight on our shoulders could rest on the ground for a bit. I was afraid I was being inappropriate. That she wouldn't want to know.

"You two have a strong bond, with or without sex. Lovemaking is merely a way to physicalise our feelings. It means more to some than it does to others, as long as it means the world to you."

I looked into the girl's eyes.

"Perhaps you were past lovers, that's why your connection is so raw and unmistakable in this life. Lovers, best friends, whatever. You two humans were made for each other. So treasure what you have."

I was at a loss for words. It felt like my grandmother, from her rocking chair, was sharing her wise words with me, a small child lost in this world. That was the moment that I needed to bring Celia back into the conversation. Callista was the only person whom I could share such a thing with.

"But Celia...." I trailed off.

"Yes, Celia," Callista interrupted. "I've seen the way you look at her. And the way you act around her. Your bond with my brother is strong, sure, but Kahlo's always been a little thick. I don't understand how he doesn't see it."

Any traces of a smile I had, vanished. She knew. Maybe everyone knew. It was obvious.

Callista picked up on my panic and hurriedly consoled me.

"But don't worry, I normally notice things that others walk straight past. As far as I know, nobody else knows what I do. Not even Celia."

The panic boiling up my throat began to die down. Now I was just focused on defending myself. "Celia is..... Celia." I wanted to say something profound, something that justified feeling something for her whilst being in love with Kahlo. But the only words I found were those and I said them as if they summed everything up. As if that was all there was to say.

"Celia is Celia," Callista repeated. "Just like Kahlo is Kahlo. They are the same, but different. They are one to you, but seperate worlds. I have a feeling you already know that."

I wasn't exactly expecting her to scold me, or be angry with me, but it was still a shock when she said those words.

"Love freely, Aurora. This isn't for your selfish pleasure, you want Celia because your heart follows her everywhere she goes. Your time here is too short to hang onto opinions you only assume others will have. Kahlo will understand. Celia will understand. We all have secrets. We are all in love. You have no boundaries here."

All that I could get myself to do was nod. It took a while to recover, to think of something other than the pure maturity and wisdom that Callista had poured out to me.

"And you? Are you in love, Lis?"

The girl beside me sighed.

"Yes. I think so. But I couldn't go any further than dreaming about him."

My eyebrows threaded together. I knew. But I wasn't sure how someone could preach to me about morals they themselves didn't even live by. "You are in a far more appropriate position to fall in love than I am. What are you afraid of?"

"Afraid? No," She started. "Just not ready."

For the second time I reached over and gave her knee a gentle squeeze. She rested her hand on top of mine