That Doesn't Mean I Hate You... |Calum Hood

19- Over And Over

"Even though we didn't tell each other. I think we both knew."

A/N

Can you guys think of a better name for this chapter? I can't really think of a good one.

Enjoy best friends,

Hannah xxx

When he leaned in, I panicked...

So, I turned my head last second, jumping off the counter, dodging any questioning he would've had. He made me nervous, and I don't even know if I like him. And if I didn't, I wouldn't want to lead him on. I made my way downstairs to get away a little. But when I heard his footsteps hitting the hardwood floor behind me I knew it didn't work.

When I passed the window I saw that Drew passed my house on his skateboard. I let out a sigh, starring out of the glass without a purpose, no one was there.

"Are you okay?" He stood beside me, wrapping an arm around me shoulders, pulls me into a side hug.

"No." I said bluntly.

"That's alright. You just have to survive until summer. A few more weeks."

It wasn't just a few more weeks... It was a few more months.

*

Today was the last day of school, I graduated. But everything had been going down hill for me very fast.

When I say I graduated, I barely did. It was the perfect grades I had in the beginning of high school kept me afloat. That and Calum.

The beatings from the guys, well Michael, had gotten worse. Even worse than Calum's. Drew, Luke, and Ashton wouldn't hit me, only hold me down to keep me from running. I would skip school and never do my homework. When I didn't know what to do I'd turn to Calum. But it usually ended with me actually drinking and being drunk off my ass, having a just as drunk Calum carry me home and sneak me into my house somehow.

Sure enough, nothing happened with me and Calum. If anything the only time I actually spoke to him is when I wanted a drink. I've been trying to keep my distance from him. From everyone really.

I don't really talk much anymore, if you met me now you'd just assume I was a mute. I basically was, a mute by choice. I didn't have a reason to speak, no one wanted me to, so I never did.

I was no longer a senior in high school. I knew I needed to get myself together, I just didn't know how.

I fell asleep right when I got home, not caring about the time one bit.

*

I opened my eyes slowly, rubbing my tired eyes to adjust to the darkness surrounding me. When a sudden light flashed past quickly, causing me to become fully awake in a second. I was in a car, I started to freak out slightly.

"Woah there darlin', calm down." The familiar voice filled the silence.

"Calum? What the fuck?!" I raised my voice at him in frustration. He chuckled at me, still focusing on the road. "What the hell? Where are we going?"

"Brisbane."

"What?!" I raised my voice at him in anger "Calum! That's a ten hour drive!"

"I'm fully aware." He said so calmly I wanted to reach over and slap him.

"Fucking turn around and take me home!" I demanded, he laughed again, making me grind my teeth together trying desperately not to strangle the boy.

"Babe, we are already three hours in... Get comfortable." He said simply.

"You practically kidnapped me! Does my mom even know?" I asked, completely fed up with the idiot.

"Oh, she knows. And I have a bag of your clothes. No worries."

"Fuck you."

"Okay."

"I hate you."

He was silent "No you don't." The words slipped past his plump lips like he knew it was a completely true fact. And it practically was, but I'd never admit that to him. I groaned,

"No. You're wrong. I hate you." I muttered confidently, even though I was trying to convince myself more than I was Calum. He knew I was lying, I knew he did. But I didn't care how wrong I was, I wasn't telling him he was right.

"Listen, you can hate me all you want. You are going to Brisbane for a week, and your stuck with me. Move on, and enjoy it." He tried convincing me. I gave up a little, but not completely.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because your losing yourself. You are turning into something your not and need an escape from life before you do something stupid. That's what I'm here for. And don't think you can lock yourself away and build your walls up so no one can save you. I don't care what you do, you can try to push me away as much as you want Vanessa. But in still gonna climb up that ladder to your window and force myself right back into your life wether you want me to or not. Some people you aren't gonna lose so easily, I'm one of them." His little speech shut me up immediately. He had caught on. I never realized how strong willed he really was until just then, I realized I couldn't get my lies through his thick skull.

"Okay." Was all I could managed to get past my lips.

Neither of us bothered to speak up and break the silence that fell over us, and the tension filling the car. But I couldn't help it when my thoughts led to things I wish I never did and I wanted to forget ever happened. I wanted to erase them from my life, and erase myself so I could start over. Every beating I took, and all the drinks I had. I unclasped my seatbelt, pulling my knees to my chest, quietly crying into my arms.

"Put your seatbelt back on." Calum said from beside me. I lifted my head enough so I could wipe my eyes, I noticed him look over at me for a second with a frown.

"Why should I Cal? I'm just a screw up." I muttered without emotion, still feeling tears in the back of my eyes trying to force their way out. I heard Calum take in a deep breath,

"Your not a screw up, your human." He told me. "If anything I'm the fuck up." He muttered under his breath, thinking I couldn't hear. "Just, go to sleep." He said softly, shrugging off the oh so familiar leather jacket slowly as he drove.

He handed it to me, I pulled it on without hesitation. His warmth over taking my stress and I inhaled deeply. Smelling the sent of his cologne and cigarette smoke lingering like it always did. I slowly unfolded myself, reaching over and push the belt into the buckle hearing the click. I rested my head against the car door, hearing the rev of the car engine as I let my eyes flutter closed.