Stolen Hearts (2012 Wattys Finalist)

Chapter 18 - No Choice At All

Robert was lying on the rug in front of the fire and Georgie was kneeling next to him. She looked so incredibly beautiful, with her hair framing her face and her skin glowing in the firelight. And she wanted him. He couldn’t believe a girl as beautiful as her would want him. She leaned over him, her hair brushing his chest, her eyes burning with desire for him. He could hear someone screaming far away.

Robert jerked awake and looked at the clock out of habit. He hesitated a moment, then got out of bed and went to Georgie. When he got to her, she was sobbing on the floor next to her bed, already awake after falling out. When she saw him, she grabbed onto him as he helped her get back in bed and held him tightly once they were settled. He held her and shushed her, trying to get her to stop crying, but he couldn’t relax. While he held her, he had to push down what he was feeling, and he worried she might be having the same feelings. He knew it wouldn’t take much for him to do a lot more than tuck her in bed and leave.

As soon as she was calm, he laid her down and got up, smoothing her blankets around her. He knew it would hurt her that he didn’t stay with her longer like he used to, but he didn’t have a choice. It was too dangerous now. When he started to leave, she reached out and grabbed his hand but she didn’t let go like she usually did when he got too far away.

“Please don’t leave me,” she pleaded quietly with her voice breaking. He could tell she was crying again.

He sighed. This was exactly what he was afraid might happen. He stepped closer and smoothed her hair, saying gently, “I have to go, Georgie. You know it.” He pried her hand off and left, listening to her cry as he walked back to his room.

He laid in bed feeling despair and deep loathing for himself. He knew now he’d completely underestimated how seriously he’d fucked things up. It was obvious to him Georgie was not going to get over what happened any time soon. He’d lost the special relationship he had with her, probably for the rest of the time he was here, and he had no idea how to fix it. All he could hope for was that she’d recover enough that she wasn’t suffering like this anymore. It was many hours before he was able to fall into a troubled sleep.

The next morning, when Robert went in the kitchen Georgie was there, hunched over her book with her coffee. She didn’t look up when he walked past her. He got his kettle ready and waited by the oven for the water to boil. When he’d made his tea, he joined her at the table. He kept his eyes on his mug and tried not to look at her but he knew she wasn’t reading. The tension between them was thicker than it had ever been in the past. He felt terrible, realizing they were back to the tense silences again.

Then she looked at him and he glanced at her. It only took that one quick glance to tell him all he needed to know. She looked awful, with dark circles under her eyes and her face more pale than usual. The look she gave him was filled with pain. He kept his eyes on his tea and tried to stay in control of his emotions while she continued to stare at him.

Then he heard a deep sigh and looked at her again, pushing his hair out of his eyes. She was looking at him with intense longing, like she wanted him, and it shocked him. She’d never looked at him that way before. He quickly looked away and tried to ignore the fact that she was still staring at him but it was hard. She kept sighing every so often and shifted in her seat as she continued to stare at him. His body started responding to the signals she was giving, and it was making him uneasy. He jumped up to wash his mug even though he hadn’t finished his tea and she turned to watch him walk to the sink, as if she was unable to let him out of her sight.

He asked, “What chore are we doing today, Georgie?” trying to distract her from looking at him like that.

“Laundry,” she said, and she sounded so sad he looked at her again. She’d noticed his reaction to the way she was looking at him and he’d hurt her deeply.