Louder

Chapter 19

      I was waiting outside of Carson's class and I was rocking on my heels. Glancing at the clock, I knew his class would be over soon. And when his class was over, it meant that I would have to try to talk to him and the thought terrified me.

       I heard the students start to pack their bags and I moved away from the door, realizing how creepy I looked. Pacing around by the lockers, I soon spotted Carson leaving the class and I ran to catch up to him. The look of annoyance he usually wore was on his face and my heart dropped as I realized that look had disappeared ever since Serena started singing for Vandos. And with him finding out the truth, Carson was back to his stressed, annoyed self.

      "Carson," I said, walking by his side. "Can we talk?"

      "No," Carson said. "I want nothing to do with you."

      Carson began to walk faster then and knowing it was pointless, I stopped walking. I stared after him as my heart sunk, wondering what I would do.

*****

       I entered Vandos and went straight to the kitchen. It had been a few days since I tried to talk to Carson at school and I prayed he would be more reasonable. A week had passed since Carson had found out about our secret and I prayed he would be less angry. All I wanted was to explain myself and I hoped Carson would finally allow me.

      Entering the kitchen, I saw Carson standing by the sink. He was staring down at the plate he was washing, a thoughtful look on his face. I stared at him for a moment, thinking about how he wasn't putting me on any shifts. And when I noticed how sad he looked, my heart broke and I prayed I could make it up to him.

      "Carson," I said softly, causing him to jump.

      Carson nearly dropped the plate he was rinsing and he whipped his head to look at me. His eyes were momentarily wide, but they soon narrowed at me. I gulped.

     "What do you want?" he asked. "Didn't I tell you that I want nothing to do with you."

      "I know you're mad and you have every right to be mad, but please just listen to me. Let me explain the entire situation. That's all I want to do."

       Carson stared at me, looking conflicted and I moved closer to him. He stepped back and I felt like someone had yanked my heart out. We had gotten so close and comfortable around each other, and now Carson was acting as if I was a stranger he had to be cautious of. It hurt.

      "It won't change anything," Carson said. "But fine. Can we meet up after I close up?"

      "Sure," I said, growing relieved. "Thank you."

      Carson didn't react. He looked away and my heart felt heavy, but I was glad he was giving me a chance at the very least. It was more than I could have hoped for.

*****

      Carson and I were at a park. We were sitting on a bench, but Carson had left a foot of space between us. He wasn't looking at me either. His eyes were on empty swing set and I stared up at the night sky, wondering what would change.

       "The event you had where anyone was allowed to sing at Vandos is what started it," I said, breaking the silence we had been sharing. "Serena always wanted to be a singer, but... she can't sing. She and everyone knows that, so she came to me because she knows I can sing and she begged me to sing for her. I knew it was a bad idea, but Serena's dream is to become a singer. That's all she ever wanted and she told me she just wanted me to sing for this one event, so I agreed. I just wanted to help my friend, so I agreed to let her use my voice for one performance.