Damaged

You had a Panick Attack in my Bathroom

*Massive self harm trigger warning*

** the chapter title references a song and i added it up top ;)**

The day felt long and painful. It feels as though everyone around me is bustling about and i'm just, here. Of course I cant show this side of me to everyone so I put on a good front so that way I don't burden anyone. It's better that way.

"You coming deku?" Urarka asked me as I snapped out of my day dream.

"Oh yeah, sorry." I say as a gather my things and walk out with Uraraka, Todoroki, and Iida. The lunch room is usually packed which gives me plenty of anxiety but we still always manage to find a table near the window and exit to sit at. There are 3 separate lines to get your lunch from that quickly fill up if you're not quick. The rest of the group packed their own lunch so I was left to the line by myself. The line moved rather quickly today so I got my food a started towards my table before I had clumsily bumped into someone and had food splatter all over me and the person who i'd run into.

" I-i'm so sorry it's my fault I wasn't looking and—"

" DEKU YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!" A livid Bakugo yelled with explosions coming out of his hands. I could almost see smoke coming out of his ears.

" Oh god Kacchan please don't be angry.." I knew that was already out of the question.

"GOD DAMMIT JUST LEAVE ILL CLEAN MYSELF UP!" He yells some more. "YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU!"

With that I make a dash for an exit not even looking back. I enter the nearest bathroom, close the stall and curl up into a ball. My mind is screaming about what a fuck up I am and i'm shaking so much. I know what I need to do and with that I reach into my bag and pull out an exacto knife. 

With that I roll up my sleeve to reveal my already butchered arm. It was a week after the incident with the Villains that i'd taken to self inflicted pain and suffering to bare the burden of what id been through. I know it's a dumb and weak thing to do, especially for a guy but I cant stop. The feeling of relief and satisfaction I feel after wards is too good to give up.

   I begin slicing and my wrist and sobbing while doing so. Letting the blood drip into the toilet so I don't make a mess. The burning sensation I feel only makes want to add more and more. When i'm done I make sure no one else is in the bathroom and walk over to the sink and rinse my cuts. They aren't deep but the blood is still coming. I dig for my bandages and wrap my arm up to make sure I don't get anything on my uniform. Not long after I hear footsteps and a familiar voice.

"Hey Midoriya you in here?" The voice asks before walking in. I quickly pull down my sleeve and hide the knife. I'm then met by one icy blue eye and another chocolate brown eye. His hair a mix of red and white with the red side having a pink scar baring the burden of what he had to go through as a child. His face remains expressionless.

" Oh hey I didn't know you'd show up here hah." I say and force a small grin.

" I saw what happened, I mean everyone did. But Uraraka and Iida didn't know where you had gone so I decided to look for you." Todorki says and plops himself onto the floor next to one of the sinks. "Kirishima came and told Bakugo to shut the hell up."

" Thanks for coming but i'm fine honestly. I just wish I had been looking where I was going and then maybe this wouldn't have happened." I say with a small nervous laugh.

" Don't blame yourself Bakugos always looking for an excuse to yell at you. And plus I know you're upset because your eyes are puffy." Todoroki says and points to my eyes. I quickly blush and think of an excuse as to why I look like I just had a mini mental breakdown.

"Oh no I just haven't been sleeping well haha. I know I must look so gross right now but i'm honestly okay I mean Bakugo has said worse and he'll be over it by dinner." It's not really a lie really. I barley sleep now and Bakugo was way meaner back in middle school. I cant blame him though. I was always such a drag to be around.

" Well that's good if you're okay but you really should get more rest then." He said with a concerned look.

" Yeah I know schools just been rough these past couple of days.

The bell rings signaling that lunch has ended and we have 5 mins to get to our hero training class.

" We better go." Todoroki says and pulls me up by my cut up wrist. I wince a bit but not enough for him to notice luckily. I felt so safe with Todoroki. Like nothing mattered and everything would be okay. We head out of the quite bathroom and into the crowded halls with teens rushing to get to their destination. I cant wait for this day to be over so I can head to my dorm.

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i don't know if i like this chapter or not tbh. Please feel free to comment any writing tips to help your girl out!