Collide

Chapter 38

               "Are you sure you're ok?" Aunt Vera put her hand to my forehead and set down the cup of hot tea she made for me. "You don't have a fever." She scanned my huddled form on the bed as I tried to concentrate on her words instead of staying trapped in my dazed state.

               "Uh huh..." Was all my small voice could manage.

               "Well, ok. If you need anything tell me. I'm going to just relax in my room for a bit, then clean the kitchen." The bed shifted as my aunt stood and left me to myself again, the door clicking shut.

               I can't even grasp it.

               My mind is still so blank I can hardly think. All I can concentrate on is the memory of what Chandler did to me, and how good it felt. I'd heard tons of times from my friend back home that it was the best feeling in the world, but I'd always blush, never wonder what it actually felt like.

               My body stopped feeling the after affects about 20 minutes ago, and now it's just my mind replaying the moment over and over in my head. A strange sense of peacefulness has been washing over me now as I stare at my blinds over the window, the sky completely dark behind them.

               It's just as I thought though...

               I'm...already anticipating the next time.

               "Raven?" I hear the door open a small bit and hear Chandler's voice leak through the crack like the faint yellow light from the hallway.

               "Yeah?" It's odd. I feel like I'm closer to Chandler, but I also feel like I...I'm more shy now, as well as, not further away from myself but, a little different.

               I feel different in general.

               What's more confusing, I thought I'd feel more at ease around Chandler, but it's actually the opposite. My hearts beating like crazy at the thought of him being in the same house with me let alone the same room.

               It's like, push and pull at the same time. I'm nervous, but I want to be closer to him. A lot closer.

               "Vera said you're not feeling well." Chandler mumbled in the darkness before switching on my lamp behind me. I felt the mattress bend again in the middle and could sense Chandler looking at me while sitting down.

               "I'm fine." Is all I can manage.

               "You're not." He sighed. "Is it because of me? What I did? Are you...having second thoughts?" Chandler's voice sounds a bit anxious.

               "What?" I turn to face him.

               "Second thoughts!" He turns and frowns a little. "Fvck...are you? About...you're birthday?"

               Chandler's hand runs through his hair the same time I snap out of my trance and sit up.

               "No...I'm not. That's not it." I give into my want and crawl over to him, hesitating before taking his face in my palms and initiate a kiss, his eyes closing to participate as he wraps his arms behind me, the lamp illuminating only one side of his face and my own.

               I shift on my knees and feel a strange delight in the fact that I'm higher than Chandler given he's only sitting down and I'm not.