Tell me you love me (Sekai ichi hatsukoi onodera ritsu x takano masamune )

Chapter 8 : nobody knows

First of all let me thank you guys for all the lovely comments. I hope you'll like the story

Onodera p.o.v

It has been 6 weeks since I last saw Takano. I know he's not coming back but yet a part of me still doesn't realise it.

It's like everything has been freezing from that moment and actually I don't know what I am waiting for. I thought my heart wouldn't be broken again but I was wrong. He did that twice.

But it doesn't matter.  At least no more. I'm stuck in this rut.

Lately I agreed to get engaged with An-chan in the desperate try to forget about him and for the same reason I leaft the marukawa publishing and go back to work in my father's company.

I tried to reach him, at least to understand his behaviour but he completely  cut ties with all us. He just disappeared without telling anyone where he'd go and changed his mobile phone.

So I had to give up on him.  Forever. Again.

But the scariest thing is that I still love him, miss him

I always struggle with this felling but I never win. It' no use.

The only peaceful moments in these weeks were the ones I spent with An-chan. Beacause when I'm with her I kinda forget everything and have a good time for a while. 

And finally my parents seems a little relaxed and happy.

But they know nothing.

About how I really feel.

The first weeks were the worse.

But then I realise I couldn't let him win. I had to be strong and go ahead with my life even though this probably can't be called life. 

I swallowed my pain. And eventually started all over again. 

Ring ring (mobile phone tone)

" hi Ricchian! "

"An-chan"

"How are you today?"

"Fine and you?"

"Well... kinda bored but apart from this I guess everything is alright"

I smile al little. I love her. I guess not in the way like a boyfriend should. But still I care about her.  She is like a sister and plus she'd never hurt me or betray me.

"What about cinema tonight? "

"I'd like to but..."

"But you're too busy for the work. You  don't realise you always use the same excuse, do you? "

"Oh . But I really have got a lot of stuff to. .."

"Blah blah blah! Okay see you at seven then. Goodbye".

"Good bye"

I start forgetting about his face. The details of his smile. His eyebrows.

But I'm still trapped in his memory.

And I can't help it.

God

I can't help it.