Ain't Nobody (Loves Me Better)

3. Fracture

For a while, things were good for both of them. The warehouse was their best move ever. Their creativity and productivity felt like in their all-time best. They were meeting new people, trying out new things, doing new things. And, most of all, they were having fun.

Of course, Ethan's brain had to ruin their high.

He couldn't remember how or what prompted it, but somehow touches that he didn't really notice before became noticeable to his brain. Not while it was happening, but when he edited their video. He usually didn't focus on their touch, instead of how to make the video more interesting. Cutting off parts to make the video more to the point, to keep the whole video interesting without being too long. But, somehow, at one time he took note when he never did before.

The number was staggering.

Every movement, every gesture, seemed to serve as an excuse to have a hand stray somewhere on their bodies. Of course, Grayson was the one that mostly touches him, but Ethan also touches Grayson a lot. More than he actually thought.

He even compared them to their past unedited videos. Their unedited collabs. He couldn't help noticing a pattern.

Grayson was always more comfortable with physical contact, no matter who initiated it. Meanwhile, Ethan saw himself leaning away slightly from whoever that wasn't Grayson. For all the contact sports they've done, Ethan always has a different level of comfort between casual touches and touch meant for sport. It wasn't really noticeable, but Ethan knew himself. He was a little uncomfortable, though he managed to hide it for the camera. Cam was probably the only guest in their channel Ethan didn't lean away from, but she is their sister.

(He was just keeping a normal, personal space. Grayson was obviously a different matter altogether)

Another thing he noticed was, even with a person between them, he and Grayson would still manage to find a way for unplanned contact. Everything was subconscious, because Ethan didn't even realize this was happening.

It was cute when they were younger. But, now that they're growing, that he's growing, he was starting to see why so many of their peers thought they were weird.

No siblings, not the ones they've seen from their fellow youtubers, ever touch each other as much as he and Grayson had. The only ones that come as close were couples and married couples instead.

(Cameron always joked how married they were, teasing them, but it was Cam so it was okay. They were in on her jokes. But, other people... they said it as if they were doing something wrong.)

This realization was, perhaps, a start. Without really realizing it, Ethan began cutting off the parts where they hug or touch if it didn't include a dialogue that needed to be kept in. He didn't exactly know why he did it. After all, nothing had changed since before this realization. He told himself that he was just trying to keep the duration short, not overly long like the videos he usually skipped. To keep it compact, fun, entertaining, and not boring. Them touching a lot was, in no way, more important than the other parts of the video. Even then, he knew they still touch a lot on screen. Ethan didn't touch the parts Grayson edited, so a lot still ended up on video.

So, Ethan started to consciously limit their physical contact, at least in front of the camera.

(In hindsight, he shouldn't have done that.)

It began with a hand, shrugged off from Ethan's shoulder. It wasn't the first time Ethan shrugged Grayson's arm from his shoulder, so Grayson didn't react. He still kept his hand to himself and kept talking as if it didn't happen. Of course, Grayson being Grayson, it only lasted for a few seconds before Grayson's arm was on Ethan's shoulders again. He couldn't be sure if Grayson was messing with him or he just didn't realize he was doing it again (but it was just Grayson being his usual self). Ethan felt bad even though Grayson didn't seem to be hurt or offended, he probably didn't realize what happened. But, when the arm seemed to stay for too long, Ethan shrugged it off again.