Arbutus

18. A song for the nights I think too much

Theres always this moment, when the character snaps. When they're suddenly thrust over the edge of whatever precipice had been holding them.

When people die, that moment is when the life leaks out of their eyes and suddenly they've turned from a writhing sea to glassy, unseeing calm.

For Mikey, it was stepping out of his room in a red leather jacket over leopard print shirt, his hair gelled up and his eyes covered with sunglasses.

Gerard turned to sam and muttered. "Is he ok?"
Elijah answered, in the same low tone. "Pete cheated."
"So no."

"I have a plan!" Mikey announced.
"Oh?"
"To hurt someone, you have to know them. Pete hurt me, so it is time for my revenge, and therefore I must know him. And who knows him better than anyone?"
"You?" Sam suggested.
"But who knows what he things about me?"
"His best friends. His Sam and Elijah." Elijah said.
"Correct. Ten points to Gryffindor."
"Bitch I'm obviously a Slytherin, what the fuck."
"Regardless. Im going to go pay a visit to Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley."
"How do you know where they are? You gonna stalk them?"
Mikey waved his phone at them. "I have them on snapchat and they don't care who see's their location."
"Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool."
"I wonder what Petes really scared of, huh? What I can do that will confirm all of his insecurities."
"Mikes..." Gee stepped in. "Its a bad idea. Revenge isn't the answer."
"We'll see about that."

-

Andy and Joe were getting coffee, or, well, Joe had coffee and Andy had herbal tea. He didn't do caffeine.

"Hey," Joe started to speak quietly, his voice directed at the table. "Isn't that Mikey?"
"Shit, yeah." Andy agreed.
"Why does he look like a gay comic book vigilante?"
"Beats me. Are he and Pete on or off?"
"On as far as I know." Andy shrugged.

Mikey ordered his drink and waited for it, languidly scanning the cafe for his targets: he found them by the window, talking in low voices. Joe threw a glance his his direction and their eyes met. He smiled.

His relationship with Petes best friends was tenuous at best, they though he was a bad influence and not worth Petes heart. Not good enough for him. They were probably right.

He collected his drink and made his way over to them. "Hey, Joe, Andy, didn't see you there."
"Hi, Mikey." Andy replied, his tone betraying no emotion.
"You don't happen to know where Pete is, do you?"
"Wasn't he with you last night?"
"No, we... fought. We didn't break up though, and.." Mikey paused. Considered. How to phrase it. "I think theres someone else."
"He wouldn't." Joe said, immediately defensive.
"I know." Mikey took a sip slowly, dragging it out. "But I saw him kiss someone."
"Who?"
"I don't know. It was Pete though, for sure." He leaves out the time and place.

Mikey buried his head in his hands and played the bereaved. "I wanted this to finally work. I know he's got some stuff with us, I just wish I knew what he was scared of, so I could prove I won't fuck us up."
"He's scared you didn't mean it." Joe said, against his better judgement. And there it was: Mikey had cracked him easily — too easily. "He thinks you might have just said you loved him to stay with him."
"But why would I want to stay with him if I didn't love him?"

Andy shot Joe a look before speaking. "You know you don't owe him shit. Like, I know you know we think you messed him up, but he messed with you, too. If he cheated then you don't owe him a second chance."
"Thanks." Mikey smiled at him, tasting guilt momentarily and then washing it down with coffee.

He stood up. "It was nice seeing you guys."
"You too." Joe told him, not meaning it.

They watched him go, and they didn't know him well enough to recognise the cocky confidence in his gait. They had no idea what he was planning. Perhaps it was better that way. Perhaps naivety was the most painless outlook.

They'll regret it later, and then again, and again and again. As Mikey and Pete fall apart and back together, tumbling over each other in desperate, gasping attempts of love.

They'll be ashamed, in the future, when Petes crying, and then once more when he's laughing.

Life is composed of regrets, its true. So they are mostly blameless in whatever comes next. Or perhaps, if its good things, they'll take credit.

Credit. Blame. Fault. Good or bad, but good or bad for who? And in the long run or the short term?

"You shouldn't have said all that." Andy hissed at Joe, as the door swung shut in Mikeys wake.
"Why not?"
"Because we're on Petes side."
"And isn't this helping Pete?"
"No- I- I don't know."
"Then don't tell me what to do."
"God," Andy leaned back. "Now you're being snippy and pissed because you know I'm right."
"Fuck you, Andy." Joe got up.
"Hey," Andy grabbed his arm. "Just finish your coffee and calm down."

Begrudgingly, Joe sat back down. "I was trying to help."
"I know."
"It'd be easier if he was a girl."
"How come?"
"Like... I'd never betray Pete to a girl or whatever, but it feels more genuine when he's another guy."
"Don't say that to Pete."
"I wouldn't." Joe assured him.
"I know what you mean, though."
"You do?"
"Yeah."

They stared down at their respective drinks in a silence that shouldn't be awkward, but was.