When The Darkness Comes

human

"G-. G-d. G-od. G-God. God. Dios. God," Raphael said with more clarity each time.

After countless hours of pleas and prayers and frustration, the word came out without getting caught in his throat or burning his tongue.

He looked up at Magnus, who gave him a warm smile, and met his eyes.

"I️ said it," Raphael said in disbelief, almost like a question.

Magnus nodded.

That was when Magnus was lucky enough to bear witness to a rare sight. It was even rarer than a vampire regaining the ability to say God's name. He saw Raphael smile.

"God. I️ can say God now," Raphael reaffirmed, as tears began to run down his cheeks.

Raphael then had a pensive expression on his face, shaking his head.

"I️ thought that I️ was damned, that I️ was nothing more than a monster," Raphael said as if he were thinking out loud.

Magnus shook his head.

"You are not a monster, Raphael. You never were," Magnus replied.

Raphael's eyes widened in horror as he looked past the warlock instead of at him. He swallowed hard and shook his head in disagreement.

"I've killed people, Magnus," Raphael stated.

Magnus squeezed Raphael's hand and nodded. Raphael looked back at Magnus.

"What you've done...it doesn't define you. You need to learn to forgive yourself. You are a good man, and your mother would be proud of you," Magnus replied.

Raphael stood up at the mention of his mother and made his way to the window, where the curtains were shut. He then placed a hand on the curtain, gently stroking it.

"Does that mean I️ won't go to hell when I️ die?" Raphael asked.

Magnus tilted his head in confusion.

"What are you talking about? You're immortal," Magnus said.

Raphael continued to stroke the curtain.

"Everyone dies. Everyone will die, until you have no one. Not even Ragnor. Not even Cat. Not even me," Raphael said in a completely monotone voice.

This was beginning to concern Magnus, but as he tried to get up, he found himself completely unable to move. Instead, he had to just sit there, screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs as 

Raphael slowly peeled back the curtains with steady hands.

Raphael didn't scream in agony. He didn't even so much as flinch. He simply turned around to face Magnus, revealing burns all along his face, neck, and hands.

"I'm dying, Magnus. And you can't save me," Raphael said, his face and voice both expressionless in constrast to Magnus's tear filled eyes and screams of horror.

It wasn't long before Magnus shot up in the bed, clutching at his chest and struggling to catch his breath. He took a moment to scan the room. It had simply been a dream - a cruel and twisted contortion of a fond memory crafted by his subconcious. He was back in the present. He was back in reality, a reality where, much like his dream, Raphael was dying and he could still very well lose everyone else in his life.

He soon found himself feeling restless, throwing the covers aside and getting up to go into the living room.

Catarina and Alec turned around, but they weren't the only two. Surprisingly enough, Simon was there as well. When he faced Magnus' direction, he couldn't even look him the eye. Instead, he looked toward the ground and looked back up when he turned to Alec.

"I️ should go," Simon said to Alec, stealing a quick look at Magnus.

Alec opened his mouth to convince Simon to say, but before he could get a word out, it was 

Magnus who spoke.

"Don't. Don't go, I️ mean. I know that you care for Raphael, so you should be here," Magnus said.

Simon shook his head as a tear rolled down his cheek, and he looked at the floor in an attempt to hide it.

"No, you were right. I️ treated him like crap and if it wasn't for me-"

"Then Raphael would've burned to death under the sun," Magnus interrupted.

It was with that that Simon finally made eye contact with Magnus. The warlock then made his way closer to the young vampire.

"I️ didn't mean any of what I️ said to you. I️ was just so angry. I️ was angry with myself and I️ took it out on you, and that wasn't fair. It was just so much easier to blame you than it was to blame myself, but none of this is your fault. You saved Raphael. So, thank you. And I'm sorry," Magnus said.

Simon nodded.

"I'm sorry, too. I️ should never have accused you of giving up. I know that that's the last thing you would ever do," Simon replied.

Magnus gave a small smile and slight nod.

"It's okay."

Magnus's attention was soon removed from Simon as he audibly gasped at the sight of Raphael. He was lying on the sofa, unconscious, but the burns were completely healed.

He quickly ran to Raphael's side, the others parting to make room for him. Gently, he stroked 

Raphael's cheek before turning back to Catarina.

"Why isn't he waking?" he asked, slightly panicked.

"I'm sorry," she started, which did not at all ease Magnus's anxiety. "I've done everything that I️ can. Now, it's all up to Raphael."