HARD | A WDW STORY

~20~

July 1, 2018

--11:00

I walked towards the front door and looked around outside through the window.

You should've been there

You should've burst through the door with that baby I'm right here smile

Why wasn't he here. I haven't seen him in over a month. I just wanna see his face. I just need to see him.

And it would've felt like

A million little shining stars had just aligned

And I would've been so happy

I hate this feeling of unhappiness. It was supposed to be a good night. He had to go and ruin it like this though, and now I can't even have a good time with the boys.

Christmas lights glisten

I've got my eye on the door

Just waiting for you to walk in

I looked at the various Christmas lights Corbyn hung up around the house, giggling because I knew they probably came up with decorations last minute.

But the time is ticking

People ask me how I've been

As I comb back through my memory

How you said you'd be here

"Hey, Delilah!" Logan walked past me. "You good?"

"Yeah," I said, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. "I just.... invited someone and he said he'd be here..."

"Oh, that stinks. I hope he comes!" He walked away with the vlog camera.

You said you'd be here

I grabbed my solo cup tightly and stomped back into the party. I stopped abruptly, everything beginning to spin around me as I suddenly became dizzy with tears forming in my eyes.

And it was like slow motion

Standing there in my party dress

In red lipstick

With no one to impress

My focus shifted from each teen having fun to the lights, until I noticed the boys goofing around in a corner.

And they're all laughing

As I'm looking around the room

But there was one thing missing

I dropped my cup on the floor, making a quiet thud as the plastic hit the floor. I felt the leftover punch spill over my heels as I slowly and mechanically walked towards the hallway, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

And that was the moment I knew

And the hours pass by

And I just wanna be alone

But your close friends always seem to know

When there's something really wrong

I feel Daniel's gaze hit me as I robotically made my way down the hall to the closest bathroom.

So they follow me down the hall,

"Delilah," I heard behind me as I entered the bathroom. All at once the tears escaped my eyes and I fell hopelessly on my knees. My eyes stung as my mascara streams down my face. "Oh my god, Delilah." Daniel grabbed my shoulders, and for once, I didn't have the flashbacks. He pulled me into a tight hug as I collapsed in his arms.

And there in the bathroom,

I try not to fall apart,

And the sinking feeling starts,

As I say hopelessly,

"He said he'd be here."

"He didn't show up, I'm assuming." Daniel asked gently.

I shook my head against his shoulder. "He said he'd be here..... He said he'd be here... Daniel that's what he said-"

"Shh, Delilah, I got you. Deep breaths. I'm just gonna take out my phone real quick and text Jonah so he can help me bring you upstairs. It's too loud down here and we gotta calm you down." His voice was soothing and I was already feeling calmer, but I just nodded again against his shoulder.

After about 1 minute, Jonah and Zach came rushing in. "We're gonna take you upstairs, is that okay?" Jonah asked sweetly as Daniel let me go. I nodded, and he picked me up bridal style and carefully carried me up the stairs.

--11:15

Jonah placed me on Zach's bed as I fell back into an anxiety attack. I couldn't focus on any of the boys. Everything continued to spin.

"Daniel, I texted Charlie and let him know. He said he'd talk to her boyfriend and figure out what's up." Jonah said on the other side of the room.

"Can you guys get everyone to leave?" Jack said, causing me to look up for a moment.

"Why, dude? It's your birthday party."

"And my best friend is having a panic attack and I wanna be there for her. My birthday can wait."

"Okay, we're on it." Daniel said, looking frustrated at Jack.

Jonah and Daniel left, leaving me alone with Jack.

What do you say

When tears are streaming down your face

In front of everyone you know

And what do you do when the one who means the most to you?

Is the one who didn't show...

Jack walked over to the bed and sat down next to me, still sobbing into the sheets. "Do you mind if I lay with you? Will that help calm you down?"

I nodded, and I quickly felt him up against my side with his arm wrapped around me. He rested his head above mine so my head buried into his chest.

"You know I care about you, right Delilah?"

"I care about you too," I whispered. "You're my best friend."

I heard him sigh and hold me tighter.

--11:45

"Dude wait-" I heard faintly from downstairs.

"What???" I think was Zach's voice.

"I want to see her-" The door quickly opened with a slam and I look up from Jack's arms to see- oh no. It can't be. He scanned me on the bed and noticed Jack at my side, who was now scrambling farther away from me. "Delilah, what's going on."

My voice had disappeared, but I managed to muster out a faint, "Shawn."