The Greatest Adventure

CHAPTER 6: ON THE ROAD AGAIN, PAUSE FOR A BREAK, ON THE ROAD AGAIN, LUNCH

Ha, ha! You thought you could stop me! Well, now it's the next chapter and I have more minutes! I finally understand cell phone users. No, I never bought one. What's it to ya? Of course I have friends. I just don't have to talk to them constantly.

I am not anti-social! You really want me to have a phone? Why? So I can check my e-mail and post on Facebook while I'm supposed to be working?

Oh gee, Justin took a picture of his cat lying on his back! That's so cuuuuute! Like! And Frank had a BLT for lunch. Ooooh, I'm so jealous! Dislike! Oh, I'm just kidding, he knows I love him. Blargh.

You don't want it, I don't want it. Wait! What are you posting? I... wish... this... pri... ma... donna... would... just...read...the...story. Oh, you are so immature. Fine, back to the typical, obvious, and might I add, predictable fantasy story.

Our heroes, or people with weapons that do violent things. Have arrived in the town of who-gives-a-rats-ass. And yes, all the NPCs will say, "Welcome to the town of who-gives-a-rats-ass!" Alright then, role call.

Young boy, old man, terrible actress, worse actor and his stunt double. Everyone accounted for? Okay. On with the show.

The road that they follow soon leads them to a town. A good thing to, as it seems their supplies had run dangerously low.

"Welcome to the town of who gives a rat's ass!" a man shouts, as he springs forth from the shadows.

Everyone stands in complete stillness, as they're shocked by the sudden outburst.

"Why did I say that?" the man asks, bewildered, as he wanders off in a daze. "That's not even the right name."

Andrew clears his ears. "Why?" is all he can ask.

Together the four of them look closely over the town and its many shops that they need to visit. The very first stop is a large tailor shop. From here they all break away to peruse the merchandise.

Old Elric walks along, until he notices a barrel standing upright, full of various length, walking sticks. They're all gleaming and highly polished, which makes him assess his own weathered and heavily worn apparatus, it does not even compare. And it doesn't matter that he did not require a walking stick, he prefers to use one.

He tries out the different staves, while gazing at himself in a full length mirror. None of them has the right feel. Then he sees it. All the way to the back, hidden by the myriad of other sticks. It's perfect! A long stick that stops at his shoulder, before creating a strange spiral, forming a kind of beehive with a hollow center.

It's just what he's looking for. A sturdy staff, which will support his weight and serve as a kind of long handled club. He is more than pleased, but there's a problem. He searches thoroughly but cannot for the life of him, find anything resembling a price tag. A small matter to be resolved, with the help of a nearby clerk.

Old Elric seizes his attention. "Boy!" he beckons him.

"Welcome to the town of who gives a rats ass!" the clerk shouts, before regaining control. "Pardon me. Something I can help you with sir?"

"How much do you want for this club?" Old Elric asks, while holding the item in question.

"Oh, no, sir," the clerk politely protests. "That's not a club."

"It's sufficiently stick like isn't it?" Old Elric queries, as he displays the non-weapon. "It can be used to beat ne'er-do-wells, can't it?"

"I, I suppose," the clerk stammers, not sure how to respond.

"Then it's a club," Old Elric states, matter-of-factly. "How much you want for it?"

The clerk looks the stick up and down. "It costs five gold pieces," the clerk informs the elderly gentleman. After which, there is a long moment of silence. "Will there be anything else?"