I Believe You

Chapter Five

“Ashley! What is your problem?” Faces pass as she sits quietly, speechless, stunned. Her brother is trying to snap her out of whatever trance she is currently in. Her green eyes are stuck to the floor. “Ash? Ash?” Finally she slowly looks up at him. “What?” She snaps at her brother. He gets down to her level, “Why did you run right after the viewing?” She pulls at the hem of her skirt, “Because I didn’t cry Ben…” He sighs and sets a hand on her shoulders, “It’s okay, it takes people time.” Ash nods, but deep down she can feel something dark and wrong with her.

A few weeks into the future Ash cuts off all of her hair and buys a bike. “Ash! What has gotten into you?”

“Why in the fuck do you care so much?!” Ben takes a step away from his sister. “People have different ways of coping with death! Mine is running free and trying to block out those damn feelings.” Ashley runs up to her room, leaving her brother confused and worried.

Over a year of time Ben noticed Ash’s mood swings. One day she’ll be riding out, free and happy. Then another day she’ll sit at home and sob in her room all day, or she’ll go out to the only park found in the city and sit.

One day, before she goes out riding, Ben stops her. “Can we talk Ash?” She stops with her helmet on her hip. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Everything, please Ash, I wanna talk to my sister.” Ash sighs and turns around from the door. “Alight. Fine.” She sits down on an arm chair across from him, “So what first?”

“Ash, are you okay? Mentally.”

“Ben, what the fuck is this? An intervention?”

“Ash! You have big mood swings!”

“I do not! I’m still emotional over grandma!” She hits her helmet in frustration. Ben sighs and places his hands on his thighs, “Ashley, she died a little over a year ago-“

“That doesn’t mean I can’t still be hurt.”

“Maybe we can go see a therapist?”

“You think I’m insane?” The grip on her helmet gets tougher. Ben shakes his head, “We’re both broken-“

“Stop say we like you think it’ll make me feel better that you’re “broken” too! You’re such a prick!” Actual tears start forming at the corner of her eyes. “Ash… Oh my God, I didn’t mean it like that-!” Ashley stands up and hits her brother with the helmet. He falls to the ground with a bloody nose, “Ashley!” She hits him again in a sudden burst of anger. The anger suddenly turns into happiness and then sadness. “No… Oh God! Benjamin! I’m so sorry.” She drops the bloody helmet and falls beside her unconscious brother.

As the ambulance takes her brother away, she explains to the police what she did. They nod and instead of sending her to jail they give her a card to a clinical psychologist.

“Ashley, you have bipolar disorder, and it’s severe.”

Ashley breathes heavily, “Okay. So what should I do so I don’t hurt my brother again, or anyone?”

“Well you don’t want to hurt yourself either sweetheart. Here, you can discuss this with your brother and other family members if you’d like,” she hands Ashley a pamphlet with a scary, white building on it. At least they tried their best to make it look like a sweet place. “It’s a rehabilitation hospital for psychological purposes.”

“So an asylum?”

“Well, if you’d like to use that term. Yes. They’ll help you with your mental illness.” Ashley nods and once she leaves the office she breaks down while sitting on her bike. Her head rests on her black helmet. Tears slide down the hard cover and then the tinted visor.

Ashley leaves a note for her brother on his breakfast tray. She squeezes his hand and places a kiss on his forehead. “I love you.” She lets her hair free as she rides to her final destination. Her brown hair makes weird noises against her ear as she speeds up. She drives away from the city, the smell of nature hits her nose as she speeds past a sign that she just barely caught. It says, from what she could tell, Nockfell. She smiles one last time before turning into a long driveway to a scary building. She hops off her bike and makes her way up the stairs. Before going in she turns around and looks at the trees around her one last time. She pushes open the double doors and is greeted with an older woman. She reaches out a hand, “Hello, I am Crystal Legion, and I run this facility.”

The boys around the table stare at Ashley with mixed emotions. The two of them have never heard the whole story before. Larry and Todd did know what mental illness Ash had, but they never knew how she was admitted. Under the mask, Sal is sadly smiling. “Do you regret admitting yourself?” Sal questions. Ashley looks down at her food, “A little bit.”

“Did you ever get letters from your brother?” Todd asks while taking a spoon full of applesauce. “I have no idea, I mean if I do, the hospital probably doesn’t let us read them.” They all nod in agreement. Sal lifts his mask up the slightest to pop in an apple slice.

Todd puts an end to the silence, “I guess I’ll go next…” He rubs his eyes and pushes up his glasses. He shakily sighs and leans back, “It all started with the most beautiful man in the world.”