I Believe You

Chapter Nine

The day flies by and suddenly Sal is already saying goodbye to Larry as they both drag back to their rooms. After head count Sal is left alone with his confused thoughts about his new friend. How can I be crushing on someone I merely met? It’s like a stupid ass movie. Sal scratches at his arms; absolutely hating these feelings.

He plops down onto his bed and takes off his mask. His groan echoes through his room; blood sits on the inside of his mask. He takes the end of his dress and wipes off the blood, but it continues dripping. He hopes to whatever being above that it’s not that Eli guy again. Maybe the guy could read his gay thoughts about Larry. Sal shakes his head at his scenario. The sloshing noise makes him turn his head toward the corner of his room across from his bed. A calm wave of relief flows over Sal when Tiffany appears with a soft smile across her face, “Long time, no see!” Sal wants to hug her, but he doesn’t want to cross any lines. Could I feel her anyway? Sal just smiles back at her, “Hey! How are you?”

“A little freaked out.”

“Why?”

“I found your files, but I also found…” Tiffany falls to the ground sobbing. Sal pushes off his bed and falls beside her. He puts a hand on her leg and he can actually feel her. Her coldness almost makes him pull away, but he doesn’t. He feels as if he is touching ice from a blizzard.  “Tiffany? Tiffany, what’s wrong?” She shakes her head and gets up and starts pacing around the room. “What files did you find?” Sal questions from the floor. Tiffany leans against the wall and crosses her arms, “I found yours, but I also found…” she takes in a lot of air and slides to the ground across from Sal. “I also found Abbie’s.”

“Abbie? Was that…?”

“My girlfriend,” Her voice sounds so shattered. Sal frowns, “Do you mind me asking why? You both were in here?” Tiffany nods and looks up at the ceiling; even on her ghost face Sal could see her tears. “I was thrown in for conversion. My parents got word of me doing “stuff” with Abbie and they immediately threw me in here. Abbie?” Her voice cracks with the name. “She… I guess… she fell into a severe depression after I was thrown in here. She didn’t eat and she fell into alcohol. I saw pictures… she was just skin and bones Sal… She was a bigger woman and I loved her so much for her confidence. She didn’t care how people thought about her and just to see her so unhealthy… basically a walking skeleton…” Sal’s nose bleed is so bad, but that doesn’t stop him from running over to Tiffany and wrapping his arms around her. He feels her hands on his forearms. The hug abates the migraine starting in his head.

She finally pushes him away and looks up at him. She rubs her eyes, “I found your files too.” Sal plops down beside her, “Yeah?” His hands end up on his knees. “You were diagnosed with schizophrenia.” Sal takes in a deep breath and slams his head against the wall. Laughter escapes through his lips. “That’s so…” the blue-haired man grows quiet and just stares at the ceiling. Tiffany watches him, waiting for his next move like a chess game. He pushes off the floor and runs his fingers through his hair, but not in an irritated way; almost a way to calm himself. He falls onto his bed, suddenly exhausted. “I’m sorry Tiffany.”

“For what?”

“Everything.”

Tiffany frowns and stares at Sal. She examines his features. His eyes look heavy as he stares at the other side of the room. “Do you want to talk Sal? About anything? I need to talk and I know you do too.” Sal rubs his eyes and flips over and stares at the ceiling. “Tiffany… I know I’m not crazy. That demon is real! I know it is!” Sal’s voice gradually raises in volume. Tiffany disappears quickly from the ground and appears at the foot of the bed. “Sal, no one in here thinks they’re not crazy.” He heavily sighs and places his hands over his face. The room grows quiet. The quietness is an epitome of the pain both adults are feeling. From loss. From confusion. From loneliness.

“How do you think I can prove myself?” Sal questions to his ghostly friend. He sighs and then grows angry at himself. If his “ghostly” friend is real, then he is insane. What in the hell am I talking about? I’m obviously fucking crazy.Suddenly, tears of irritation and truth fall out of the corner of the blue eyes. “Fuck.” Sal sobs afterwards. Tiffany stands, “What’s wrong Sally?”

“What was I thinking?! I am insane!” Sal screams at the top of his lungs. It scares Tiffany away. The room grows empty. Sal sits up and runs his hands through his hair, pulling the pigtails out. He sobs loudly. Loud enough for his friend across to hear.

“Sally Face?” The concerning voice makes Sal sob even harder. He feels so many emotions at once; too many. Larry pushes against his bars. “Sally, I know you’re up. Please. Talk to me.” Sal slithers off his bed and pops on his mask. He looks through the bars, “I’m fine, Larry.”

“Obviously not. You’re sobbing. Plus your nose sounds stuffy. You’ve been crying hard. Sally, tell me what’s up,” Larry solemnly smiles. Sal looks down at his white sneakers all patients were given. He shakes his head and looks back up at a waiting Larry. “Larry… it’s too late to talk about this. I will talk tomorrow. Please. I’m exhausted and I need to figure some things out on my own for a little bit.” Sal waits for a response from Larry. He starts to walk away from the little window, but finally the taller man speaks. After clearing his throat, “Sal, you know I’ll always be here. Right? Just right across the hallway. If you ever need a quick chat.” The understanding smile partly clears the clouds in Sal’s mind. He smiles back, but yet again, Larry cannot see it. So, instead, Sal nods and thanks him. They both head to bed with heads full of too many thoughts.