one day i began to think

goodnight sis

I looked up at him. My eyes drew to the cold biting at his cheeks and ears, turning them red from the blood rushing to them. He stretched out his arms, made that familiar smirk and tilted his head- all this in the gesture of asking for a hug. 

Obviously, I granted permission. I smiled and opened my arms so they could close around his torso. I felt his long arms wrap around my body and hold tightly. I elevated myself slightly so I could rest my head on his shoulder. My cheek pressed softly against his neck that at the time felt like it was on fire, but it's warmth comforted me. 

In his arms I felt protected, sure, in a different way. I knew he'd always be there for me, have my back, always an ear that'll listen, a shoulder to cry on. He proved that to me many times before and I've been so blinded by my previous way of living before spending time with him and his family.. I never knew how much of a home was offered to me.. not until now, staring up at the stars. They're so beautiful, shining so bright, different sizes, different ages depending on when they were discovered.. I can always count on stars to shine, I can always count on them to show through the darkness, to reveal themselves to me.. to be my family in a way but..

The night sky is him and his family.. they are mine now. They have adopted me into their life styles and I couldn't be happier. Stars are always there.. and so are they.

The cold brought me back to reality, I shivered and I felt him hold me a little tighter. I whispered gently into his ear. "Thank you.." I then feel my eyes start to swell and the lump in my throat attempting to form.

"What for?" he asks. 

My breathing begins to stagger and warm tears stain the ice like skin on my cheeks. "For being the family I wish I had.." I pause and let out a small laugh that participated in a small sob of my crying. "That I do have!" I smiled at the thought. He is my family. This is my brother. His brothers are my brothers, his sister, mine. Ma..Dad.. they're mine. Another laugh like sob escapes my lips, I try to hold back the tears but at this point there is no point in fighting an emotion so strong and powerful and genuine. 

He chuckled softly and inched his mouth closer to my ear. "Thank you for opening up to us, letting us in and be there for you. Thank you for letting us ..well.. kinda adopted you." 

I wish you could..

His voice became a little more gentle, even more soothing than before."Thank you for being the family we wish we had... that we do have." 

I chuckled and hugged him to an aggressive extent, refusing to hold back my sobbing. Then I quickly pulled away, wiping at the wetness that had trailed down my face, chin, and neck. 

We looked at each other smiling. His hands rested on the space of my arms between my elbows and shoulders. I tried collecting myself behind my smile that only grew. Finally he nodded his head with a smile that matched mine and let me go with the words..

"Goodnight sis."

_____

recently one of my closest friends became a brother, actually I guess he's been for a while I just didn't know until now. 

it didn't go exactly like this.. but it's enough of the memory.

i miss my brother..

i miss my family..

i miss.. home. 

-belle <3