Gasolina - Klance Mechanic/Racer AU

Chapter 28

I woke restfully, glancing at my surroundings, for a moment not sure where I was. When I recalled that I'd stayed at Lance's house, in Lance's bed, I remembered the events of the night before. Drunk and emotional, I'd confessed to Lance – and he had confessed back.

I carefully rolled on to my side, limiting my movement as much as possible so not to wake Lance, who still slumbered beside me. He was sprawled on his back, one arm stretched out across the pillows and the other resting on his chest. His sprawled arm had a red pressure patch just below the shoulder – no doubt from where my head had been resting the night before. At some point I must have rolled away, although recently based on the fact that his arm was still marked.

I felt my cheeks turn red as I stared at him, taking in every detail of his chiselled face and long neck. It didn't feel real. Lance and I had kissed. We both liked each other. I knew Lance had been drunk, but two drunk confessions almost solidified the fact that he had to at least like me a little. Plus, he hadn't pushed me away when I kissed him – he'd pulled me closer. Since I'd met him I'd wanted nothing more than for him to gather me into his arms and kiss me. Now that it had happened...

Part of me wanted to run away, to pretend it never occurred. I could blame the alcohol, or say I didn't remember it. I had ways to get out of the situation, but...why did I want to run away? Lance was a great guy; he was kind, caring, and generous to a fault. So what was holding me back?

Of course, I knew the answer. Every time I'd ever depended on someone other than myself, they'd let me down. I'd sabotaged more relationships and foster families than I could count on two hands, and refused to allow others to become dependant on me. If I made myself an island, nobody could hurt me – and I couldn't hurt anyone, either. It was how I got through my childhood, and most of my adulthood.

Shiro was the only person I'd ever allowed to visit my island. I trusted myself to look out for him, but refused to let him take care of me – aside from him letting me live in his apartment. However, after his accident, I had felt myself shutting him out again. I'd let him and myself down. If I'd only done something differently that night, I could have prevented his injury. Perhaps if I'd never gotten into racing in the first place, he might have retired by now.

It had always been easy to shut people out.

So why was Lance any different?

Was it because he saw through my hard shell? Was it because he looked out for me in a way that he kept himself safe, too? If I wasn't careful, my lonely island would have a new full-time resident, and I didn't know if I was ready for that.

"Hmm..." Lance groaned, stretching in the bed.

I quickly rolled over, pretending to be asleep. If he caught me staring...

"Keith?" He mumbled sleepily, patting at the bed. I felt him roll towards me, lifting himself up on to his elbow and leaning over to look at my face. "Are you awake?"

"I am now." I mumbled, covering my burning cheeks with the blanket.

"God, you're so cute..." He mumbled, chuckling to himself, then sighing back against his pillow. "I'll go make breakfast-"

"Wait." I snapped, rolling over to face him. "Uh...just...stay here for a bit longer. I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?" He asked. When I nodded, he stretched out his arm across the pillows again, fiddling absent-mindedly with my hair. I enjoyed it a lot more than I probably should have. "Do you...uh...do you want to talk about last night?" He asked eventually, glancing sideways at me.