Yeah I know what you're thinking, same day huh. Yeah it is because today was no different form something traumatic happening. I know I get out of hand. I know i do. J don't know what's wrong again. I was just upset. I his his phone because he wanted to call a lyft, go home and hurt myself. It broke my heart so much he wanted to do that so there was no way in hell I was gonna let him leave. We kept arguing and arguing. Somehow in the blink of an eye it led to me banging my head into the back board of the bed. My boyfriend tried to get a hold of me. Everything happened so fast and it was all so blurry but in the end all I remember was him throwing me on the bed and grabbing my arms yelling "GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!" He wants wrong. I really needed to, but it hurt so much when he said that and he grasped my arm so tight and through me around like a rah doll down hard onto the bed without him even realizing it. My brain melted. It shut down. I cried my eyes out. I was paralyzed with disbelief of what had just happened. I laid there sobbing on the bed just like a baby would in the wound. I don't know what happens because after that I didn't act the same. I felt like something went wrong with my brain. All I said was "DON'T TOUCH ME DON'T TOUCH ME". Every time he did touch me I would yell it louder and I started breathing harder. I then quickly moved to the very far corner of the bed against the wall saying the same thing. I don't remember seeing much besides him sitting cross cross apple sauce style by me crying. He say there. I don't know what much he said since all I did was look at my wall saying don't touch me and responding he same when he did. He then tried to grab my hand and I was stiff. Like my hands wouldn't move the same. He as scared. I was reacting the same. I was terrified with any attempt he tried. He was crying. In my head I was thinking what was wrong with me but my body reacted otherwise. It went in for a little bit. I then started to calm down. He was so scared he was sobbing. I tried my best to hug him even in the state I was in. I couldn't bare see him cry like that. We the both later calmed down more. I still want normal. I couldn't really keep my head up that much andI wouldn't talk. I would also have a hard time bragging and every couple minutes take Avery deep breath of air in. I don't know what was wrong. If anyone knows please let me know I would like to know. It all the settled down. He had a nice shower and then we sat down and drank a little. We had a good time. I'm much more emotional when I'm drunk so anything I felt was spilled out. That's why I remember him telling me how scared he was. He said he was so scared for my life that he thought I was having a stroke. That alarmed me a little bit. But, now here I am. Having this be recorded here. I'm still a bit drunk. This was a scary trip but I know we're strong and we'll get out of this life. Live wins all.
YOU ARE READING
Diary Entry: My Life in Progress
Non-FictionMake it what you want. This is me writing some movements of my life i will never forget. Some that will help me hopefully build up as a person. I know we seem broken but all that's broken can be fixed with just a little more love.
