The Truth That Was Never Told [Hoseok X Reader] [Completed]

Chapter 12

I fall to my knee's letting go of Hobi's hand in the process, one of my hands fall lifelessly beside me and the other one over my mouth. "no..." I say under my breathe. everyone stood there shocked and sad that it never came to any of us to comfort each other

it's like a black hole just swallowed all of us into a place filled with nothing but grief.. it hurts so much, all I want to do is just reach out and touch her again, hug her and hold her while telling her, she has nothing to worry about because I'll protect her forever.. but that's never going to happen, cause she's dead now and gone forever

I miss my baby girl.

I heard a baby cry and it brought me back to my senses. I get up and walk toward Andrew who was crying on the seats behind us, I wobble a bit as I walk towards him. I hold him like if I let go I'm going to lose him just like we lost Lily.

the nurse left and everyone gathered around me and Andrew as Hobi sat right next to me. the other boys remained standing.

we waited a few more minute before deciding we should leave considering the room was getting a bit crowded.

Tae and Jimin take Andrew to the car and Hobi stays behind to help me. I guess my ability to walk was thrown out the window when the bad news hit me and I think Hobi noticed it too.

as we slowly made our way to the car, we sat in the back of the car so no one would see me break down besides Hobi who's right next to me comforting me.

Jin drops us off at Hobi's house, our house. and I went to get Andrew from the car but Hobi insists he gets him. we put Andrew in his crib an I go to bed and curl up with the covers over me. am I going to end up like mom?

will I let grief control me till I'm not me no more? will I ever be me again. a thought pops into my head, I keep pushing it away but it keeps coming back. it's like my body went on auto pilot, I get up and start walking to the bathroom.

I look in the draws but I couldn't find what I was looking for. before I could look for something else that's sharp. the bathroom door opens and there Hobi's standing shocked. I looked at him with a guilty look in my eye.

he walks over to a rug, lifts it up and grabs something underneath it. "is this what you're looking for?" he asked referring to the small flat razor he had in his hand. "yeah..." I mumble softly looking away.

"you said you'd never do it again Y/n" he said with a sad yet angry tone "you said you would never do it again" he said, seemed close to tears "you have no idea what I'm going through nor what I've been through, so just give me the razor and let me release some of the pressure " I said trying to reach for the razor 

"no, I can't let you hurt yourself, and how am I supposed to know you're hurting if you don't tell me, I'm your fiancée, you can trust me"

"I can't trust anyone anymore, all anyone ever did was hurt me even my own family." I run to the door but before I leave I turn around and say "goodbye Andrew, stay safe, and take care of him Hobi"

I rush out the door running and running till my legs are so numb they feel like their going to break. as I run I think of all the reasons I have to live then I think about the reasons I have to die.

then I thought about how the bad out weighed the good.

as I run to the nearest bridge I think about how much happier the guys will be without me, and how much better Andrew can be raised since I'm out of the picture.

when I arrive at the bridge I look over the edge at the ongoing traffic. I try to catch my breathe at this point I start to wonder if Hobi and the boys are looking for me at all.