Every Rose Has It's Thorns (Patrick Kane)

The Girl I Am

Madeline

"Woah, theses are a lot of lyrics" Patrick admits as he opens my box that I throw all my ideas in. There's lyrics on napkins and clothing and other weird things that was lying around when I was feeling inspired but didn't have paper around so I wrote on whatever was in front of me. There's no specific time where I feel inspired to write so it's not just like I can sit at the piano and create music, it's not that easy. So I take all my ideas I've ever had and wrote them down before throwing them in this box.

"They add up pretty quickly. These are all from the past month or so. Some are just a few lines and others are a whole song, it varies" I explain as his eyes widen.

"I thought you said you had writers block" he says.

"I do. I have all these ideas but no songs. The lyrics don't go together, there's no structure to them. So I wrote down what I have hoping to finish them one day but the inspiration goes away before I can get anything done" I explain.

He continues to read through what I have and I bite my lip. Some of those in there are just awful and some of those are about him. So I see this going a hundred different ways and I'm scared of almost all of them. But he's the only person around here I talk to so it's not like I have a choice.

"What about this one" he asks pulling out a piece of paper that I wrote on when I was at that meet and greet right before we met.

"That's the closest I've come to finishing a song" I admit as I stand beside him. We both stare at the paper as we read through it.

"Maddie, this is really good" he tells me and I smile.

"I don't know. I don't usually do songs like that. Don't get me wrong... I love that song. It's just not what my fans want" I shrug.

"If your fans want to hear what you have to say then this is exactly what they want" he claims.

"They say they want one thing but you give it to them and they realize it's not what they want at all" I explain.

"Or they realize that you're not who they want you to be, you're just you and that's the best thing you could possibly be" he says and I smile.

"If I sing this for you then can you help me figure the rest of it out" I question.

"I know nothing about music but I can try" he promises.

I pull him up the stairs and into my room I sleep in. I set him on my bed and grab my guitar out of my instrument room before sitting next to him. I have him hold the paper out as I played him the song.

"You think that you know me but what do you know?
Do I prefer diamond or pearls or a car with a bow?
What color are my eyes, are they green or are they blue?
Do I cry myself self to sleep, do you do it too?
Why are there six tv's in my house, do I need my own show?
Or is it so I can have them all on and not feel alone?
I have all of these things and who would have knew?
None of them help with what I'm going through.

I'm more than a name and a voice on the charts
I'm a girl who wants nothing more than to follow her heart
And I've been a real mess, don't even know where to start
I've been holding it together so I don't fall apart.

And that girl that you see, I'm not her
I don't wear those big dresses or take back my words
I'm just trying to get some things back to the way that they were
When it was just a girl with her guitar, that's what I prefer.

If you didn't know before then now you know
I don't want bracelets or earrings or cars with a bow.
My eyes are hazel so they're green and they're blue
I cry myself to sleep and it's okay if you do too
Because this is my life and it's not just for show
And for once in my life I don't want to do it alone.
I have all these things and I always knew
That I'll be okay with it without them but I'd be better with you.

So this is the me that I wanted you to see
Not that girl people say they want me to be.
I've never been good at telling a lie
That's why I wanted to show you that this is my life.

I'm loud and obnoxious and sometimes misguided.
I'm goofy and clumsy and always divided.
But now that you know me I hope that you understand.
That this is just the type of girl that I am."

I finish singing as I look into his deep blue eyes. They were like the ocean and I felt like I was trapped in a undertow. But the thing was that I didn't want to get out. I kinda wanted to stay there forever.

"You have to release this song" he claims and I let out a sigh.

"My dads gonna flip" I insist.

"This isn't your dads life, it's yours. And I think it's about time you tell people who you really are" he insists.

"No wonder my dad doesn't like you" I tease and he chuckles.

"I don't care what he thinks about me. It's you that matters, to me and to all your other fans out there" he insists.

"Well I think the world of you" I reply softly as he smiles down at me. He moves my guitar from my lap before scooting me closer.

He softly cups my cheek with his large hand as he pulls me into him. His eyes stare at my lips as they inch closer and closer to his. Finally I put my lips on his which catches him by surprise. But I was more surprised that a player like him took this long to kiss me in the first place.

Once we break apart I see him keep his eyes closed a bit longer and it makes me smile. Finally he looks back at me and I could feel my heart beating like crazy.

"I've waited so long for that" he admits.

"What took you so long" I tease.

"I didn't want you to think I was some player who just wanted to get in your pants" he claims and I giggle.

"I don't think that" I assure him.

"Well I know that now" he scoffs.

"Well I think that kiss was worth the wait" I admit.

"I'm not sure yet. I think I need to kiss you again to be really sure" he teases and I laugh.

"I wouldn't mind" I smirk.

He slips his hand behind my neck before pulling me in. That same spark that was there before was there again and I couldn't help but smile. But he quickly depend the kiss to take my smile away and give me this feeling that was driving me crazy. He always did.