Maraïda: The Billionaire's Surrogate (Billionaire One)(Completed)

Voids and emptiness, running into sunsets

Mara's POV.

I wasn't sure why I had been crying. I wasn't even sure if what I felt on my face were my tears or the water drops from the shower, but one thing I was sure of was the voids and emptiness I was feeling. I felt numb inside, and drained entirely.

I had lost. I was a loser. The most important person in my life, Like every other one of them, had left me. I was alone. My sacrifice wasted.

The only joy I had left; I had lost her, to the icy hands of death; it had taken her away.

I really felt like trash and nothing could bring back my sanity. I had so many things going through my head at the moment, but I had only one focus and it was haunting me like an evil spirit. The horrible memories of that night; the vanity of my sacrifice; my sanity was drifting further and further away with by the seconds; as long as I had those images in my head, everything was purely bleak.

Tears would just run down my eyes with me unconsciously knowing about them. I could no longer control my own emotions. I got no pleasure from it; only pain and agony. But nothing could surpass the regret I got from it: it was all in vain.

"Mara! Mara!" I snapped out of my trans to the voice of my friend Issa. "You have to stop doing this to yourself," she grumbled, "You have to let go off the past; it's past and forgotten. No one is blaming you for anything. No one is judging or doing whatever it is you might be thinking inside that head of yours. So please, snap out of it." She grabbed something out of my hand, she looked like she was fighting to hold in a gag.

It was probably because I was filling up my cup of hot tea with powder soap; unknowingly of course.

I had been so deep in my mind that I hadn't noticed the hazardous deeds I was doing. And i could very possibly drank that mixture and still not notice anything fishy about its taste; my taste buds had died with my joy. It had become a regular thing lately. My thoughts have been doing that a lot to me lately: steal my attention from whatsoever I'm doing so I can unintentional end my life: or intentionally; I didn't care much about anything.

"You know I didn't mean it," was all I could say before emptying the content of the cup into the sink, then heading out after, deciding on ditching breakfast and food in general, the fifth time in a row.

"Now where are you going?" Issa questioned.

Issa had been a dee friend for a long time. She'd taken me in when we had no place to stay and no source of income or support. She had gotten me back on my feet when I really needed to. She cared, a lot. And that scared me for her. Caring too much gets you hurt. I mean look at me. I was a messed up girl, barely eighteen and slowly drifting towards insanity. Junkies had a better mind set than I ever had.

But I know I didn't want to hurt Issa. She was the last person I had in this planet. I had grown almost suicidal over the past few months and the only person who still kept me hanging on the brink was Issa. But sometimes, all I could imagine was the relief I'd get from death; all that weight lifted off my shoulders.

"I'm going to work." I told her, throwing a brown backpack over my shoulder,

"But today is supposed to be your day off!" she said firmly.

"Do you really want me to stay home and enjoy it? I'd rather just take a walk down the park." I told her back. Issa is the one who always tells me to find a way to distract myself from thinking too much. I figured if I gave her a good lie, I'd be able to get her out of my hair. I needed to just get away for some time.

I was going to do just that.

"Mara," Issa called, I halted fora second, she continued, "It's been two months already. Please just let it go! Find it in your heart to relief yourself off any pain or regret." I nodded in response even though nothing of what she'd said had gotten to me.

We couldn't talk further. I needed to get out. I walked out of the room, out of the building and into the busy streets of Manhattan; with no destination whatsoever. I just follow the lead of my legs to the left, blankly staring into space. It was intentional; just in case I got lost and never found my way back. Or died in a deserted place with no one around to help me: no one around to save me.

I kept walking like I was the only person on the roads. But something happened; I dropped to the floor when I felt a hard slap from my knee, upper thighs right up to my stomach. I landed butt first on the hard concrete. I hadn't noticed that a car had just parked ahead of me and had swung its door open. My head spun and my vision blurred. The only thing I heard vaguely was a voice; a familiar voice,

"Miss are you OK?" The man asked, "Call an ambulance! Miss can you hear me? Are you OK?"

Epic fail! I thought.

Yes I was. I wish I wasn't.

He took my hand and lifted me up from the floor. As my vision regained its clarity. I looked around to see if I hadn't just died and gone to wherever people go to when they die.

But no!

I could still see that huge billboard showing an advert of those hair products I used to use but could no longer afford. I looked at the person whose hand was still firmly but gently holding mine. I glanced at his face and- I froze.

I would recognize it from anywhere since it's been haunting my dreams for months. Plus, he had barely changed an atom. He only looked a lot sober and responsible.

My hearts beat increased and lower tummy churned.

His voice was inside my head, like everything he was saying to me that night, while digging himself deep inside of me, everything was just a mockery.

The voices sneered inside my head as I try to recollect what little I had left of my sanity. The memories became real as I saw them all transpire before my eyes. Rivers of tear filling my orbs.

I shut him completely out. I yanked myself from him. I ran off, like one of those fairytale stories where the heroine runs off into the sunset. I ended up amidst a busy highway; I felt a hit! I had push on me, but the feeling was brief. Black spots quickly clouded my vision until everything turned completely black.

The last things I heard were the street noises fading into emptiness and a voice, his voice shouting 'help'.