Pleadings and sealing deals

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I couldn't put my thoughts together, I couldn't get my mind at peace. Everything seemed so surreal; like a dream that wouldn't end. Plus all that, I had one question that kept on coming back to my head...

Was I?

That was the one question that I ended up on after every contemplation I made.

Was I ready to sacrifice so much for nothing? It wasn't nothing but still; was I ready to sarcastically honor this world with my presence, with all the voids, emptiness, taunting memories and mental torture, for seven more months till this child is born? The only thing I was ready for was the end. I was ready to die. I was ready, all ready to make all this pain go away but how could I when deep inside, I felt like I had to do something for someone to change their lives, change their story.

"Please! Do not look at me like just another guy but as a man desperate for the love, touch and feel of his own flesh and blood. I'm on my knees Maraïda, keep this child and I promise you won't regret it." He blue eyes drenched with salty liquid and he dropped to his knees. Jared Shenko was on his knees, vulnerable, in front of me; at my mercy! I could feel the pain in his words. But I had seen first hand, a man on his knees begging for forgiveness, begging to be better, begging to be a father again only to ruin his own child. I knew men of this type. I had known one way to well before. A man like this had kick started the miserable events that followed my life and suffering.

If I had to bring a child into this world, it should never have to suffer the kind of fate I did. The kind of life I was raised in.

"What about your wife? You're still married right? Is she aware? Will she accept this?"

I think I must have been looking for a way out of the pressure of carrying this child. I thought, the thought of his wife could scare him, or rather, the idea of his wife finding out about his infidelity, his wanting to keep this baby would keep him away and let me have my way.

"Sophia and I have been looking for a while now to adopt a child. Now we don't have to since it's going to be my very own child. Don't you see this Maraïda? This is fate! This is the universe's way of answering my calls." he said instead, more excited than before,

"Won't she be mad at you for- cheating! Isn't that what you did?" I watched him let out a heavy breath of frustration before finally lifting his head to look me again in the eye, looking more determined than ever,

"Leave Sophia to me! She is my wife, I love her and will find a way to talk to her about this. I don't know how yet but I'll deal with my wife later. I'll talk to her, but for now, you, you- I need to know your decision. You have to keep this pregnancy Maraïda! Please! Give me that chance to be a father!"

Jared Shenko's childlessness story doesn't have much secrecy to it. Married for many years but still no seed to show as a result of their love with his wife Sophia. No one knew why they couldn't conceive but people speculated a lot. Sometimes it was said her womb had been damage by drugs: other times, the news said he was sterile due to an accident from when he was younger.

I wasn't feeling to confident about this man. A man who cheated on his wife with a supposed prostitute that I was that night, and now wanted to keep the child I was carrying. Any other man of his calibre would have just paid off the girl to get rid of the baby but him, this one had a wife, and still wanted me to keep the baby. Maybe because it was his only chance at ever getting one.

"On one condition," my brain ticked and stopped at the first stupid idea that popped in.

"Excuse me?" he said. He must have heard but just wanted to hear it again,

"I said I'll only do it on one condition,"

"Is it money? property?" he asked, "I'll give you anything, anything you want-"

"Shelter! I want shelter." I said. I wanted to slap those egoistical odds out of his mouth. Money! Property! Of course those ere the things he could offer. After all, what else could a broken girl like me ever need apart from those basics.

"Done. I have a million spacious and luxurious living accommodation. Penthouses, mansions! Which one best suits..."

"I don't need any of your spacious Accommodations nor do I need your money;" I told him abruptly,

"Then what to do you want?" He asked, a slight bit confused.

"To live with you. In your house. With you and your wife." I knew how crazy it sounded but it was the only way I could think of to get to know these people with whom I was about to leave my one and only child. I had to be sure her future was secured and she will never have to go through what I did, ever.

"My house?" his accent would spice the pronunciation of every word he said like it was something else,

"Any problem with that? Your wife is going to find out any way so why not put it together and give it all to her?"

"But I can't- I can not.."

"If you can't Mr. Shenko then neither can I. If you and your wife so badly as you say need this baby, all I ask is to live in with the both if you till the child is born. So, I'll ask again, is there any problem?"

Jared sucked in a deep breath before blurting out,

"Ugh ugh! None! Not at all. No problem. I am going to make this work no matter what!" he swallowed a heavy lump of oxygen before exhaling out the words, "It's a deal."

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