Echoes Of The Heart

Chapter 5

CAROLINE'S POINT OF VIEW

I felt subconscious.... All that I saw was blur images of nothingness. I felt like someone was hitting hard on my head. There was a constant pain; I tried to ease it by pressing my thumb on my temples.

I had been lying here all day. I had no fever but I felt really weak I didn't know what was with me. My head never stopped hurting and I vomited every now and then. I had called a doctor in the morning according to whom I was suffering from food poisoning. But I had not eaten anything since the last night.

After lying on the bed the whole day I finally decided to get up. It was raining heavily that night. I decided to have some coffee and biscuits. I felt really dizzy and sat down on the floor of the kitchen immediately. I made my coffee after getting up from the floor about 15 minutes later.

My mind was in a state of restlessness. Not only because of my illness but also due to my very unusual thoughts. The pictures of the man I saw die that day never left my mind, the words were always there in my mind and left me thinking about my death and any reason for the smile on the face of that man. I could not stop thinking about the unimaginable pain that he might have felt at that time. I knew it would be hundred times more than what I felt in my head right now. When that pain hit me I wouldn't be in a state of thinking anything. I even forgot were I was. I could not imagine how that man was able to recite those words in that pain of death.

I had tons of such questions in my head all the time. I waited every second for this illness to end so that I might try to find the answers to even half of the questions that I had. I thought that I might than be able to get out of this state of mind.

I was able to stand properly without falling on the ground, the next day. The first thing I did was that I started collecting all the lectures of Muslim scholars on death. After I had collected 3, I decided to listen to them first.

I sat on my bed and rested my back on a pillow.

I was totally lost into the speech that I heard. I felt a lump in my throat. It was very strong and each word affected my heart. The speaker quoted some verses of the Quran (the holy book of the Muslims).

"And if you are slain, or die, in the way of Allah, forgiveness and mercy from Allah are far better than all they could amass."
[3: Al-Imran-157]

I immediately had a picture in my head of a man with beard. May be that man had a life which is being talked about. The words were very clear and left no reason for any person to not do what was being asked. Why would someone not want that mercy which is better than anything?

If what I was listening was really the word of God than it was something I would want to read more.

I took out my mobile from the drawer and checked the location of the nearest Islamic book store.

I walked out and started the car. The shop was ten minutes away from my house.

I got an English translation of the Quran and while I was leaving I saw a book named "changing lives". I walked towards it and picked it up.

There was a sentence under the title saying

"A book that has changed lives of the non-Muslims." This line urged me to buy it. On my way home I saw Umar walking by a street with a girl beside him. They were holding hands and were laughing.

The girl wore a short skirt and a small blouse.

When I reached home and sat on my coach. I thought about Umar, he was a Muslim too and as far as I knew they were not allowed to have relationship before marriage. I thought about the verse that I had heard in the morning. Was the mercy of Allah really better than all the temptations of the world?