Chapter 2

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I'm proud. I actually made it through the whole morning. What surprises me the most is that I haven't received any mean comments at all. I don't know if I should be happy or worried about that fact. A little voice in the back of my head says that this is a good thing. This is how the other students have it every day. But wherever I go there's hushed whispers and people looking and pointing at me. I'm obviously the new subject on everyone's lips. Is it really that big of a deal? Me changing my looks. Yes, it is. You are – were like the biggest nerd ever. My subconscious tells me everything I'm too scared to think of. Of course you're going to get attention, a lot of it - whether you like it or not.

The school day is far from over. I still have to make it through the afternoon but my current problem and probably biggest challenge is lunch. The cafeteria. That place has always been my greatest fear. It's the place in school where you're the most exposed; available for everyone to throw their shit on you. That's the reason why I have refused to go in there and eat my lunch. I have always brought my own food and taken a seat under a tree outside with a book as my only company, distancing myself from anyone that can hurt me.

Today that's about to change. I'll walk into the cafeteria and eat my lunch with the other students. The thought makes me nauseous and my mind makes up several scenarios of what could happen. I rub my hands over one another as I leave my locker and head towards the cafeteria. It feels weird already. Like I'm an outsider, like I don't belong here. That's a fact, a true one too. I am an outsider, that's just who I am and always will be. It's what my siblings are trying to change. Push me out of the outsider category and into the popular category. As if that's ever going to happen.

I enter the room and look around for a brief moment. The room goes silent and people turn around to look at me as I appear but I don't give any of them a look back. I walk straight to the counter and buy a bottle of orange juice and a vegetable wrap before I turn around slowly and scan the area in search for a free table. I find one at the window. My feet bring me to it and I pull out one of the chairs and sit down. It is going surprisingly good. By now I thought I would be out of this place and too scared to ever return but here I am, eating my lunch in peace without getting inter-

"Hey." A female voice catches my attention and it takes me a good five seconds before I realize that she's actually talking to me. Never in my life did I think that Tanya Cox, out of all people, would say a single word to me. When I raise my head to look at her I see that she's not alone. Five boys are standing behind her, creating a wall.

"Can we sit here?" The question makes me almost shocked. Is Tanya actually asking me if she and the boys can sit with me? What on Earth am I supposed to answer? Is this some kind of sick joke? It has to be. I look around, seeing several students looking in my direction.

"Uh..." I poke at the dark purple nail polish on my nails. "Sure." I manage to say and Tanya's face actually lights up with a smile, which makes my stomach tight.

"Great." Her voice is happy and kind. She pulls out the seat next to mine and sits down on it.

The five boys that I know so well take the remaining seats around the table. The boy with his famous curls, Harry Styles takes the seat on my other side. He sits half turned away from me, holding a conversation with the dark and tanned boy, Zayn Malik. It doesn't matter though. He's only a few feet away, I can touch him if I just stretch out my hand a little bit. His cologne takes up all of my senses and it's not until a gentle nudge pulls me out of my state that I realize that Tanya had spoken to me - again. I slowly turn my attention to the blonde. She cocks her head and pushes a strand of bleached hair out of her face.

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