Us [bughead]

Prologue

[Contains description of sexual assault]

~Jellybean~

I felt his hand moving closer to me. I could feel the warmth of his breath. He was so close and it scared me. His lips met my cheek and all I wanted to do was scream. But I kept telling myself that he only did it because he loved me. I mean, yes, there had been some...weird moments between us. But he was like my dad, and a dad never hurt their daughter. They are there to protect them. So I guess whatever he did was to protect me, or because he loved me. Never to hurt or use me. 

When his hand reached my shirt and he pulled it up, my eyes filled with tears and I had to bite my lip in an attempt not to cry. But then I felt his big warm hand against my thigh and it moved closer and closer to my private area. I remember that mom once told me that no one was ever allowed to touch that part if I didn't say it was okay. I never agreed to this. Then again, it's Leonard. He would never hurt or use me. 

When he unzipped my pants I was shaking. I felt so sick and I have never been so terrified. Not ever. Would he want to have sex with me? Am I allowed to have sex? Do all dads do this? Is this what a dad is supposed to do? I mean, this is Leonard. He is more like my dad than my biological dad. And Leonard would never hurt or use me. 

His right hand reached for my part and I froze. 

"Stop," I mumbled, but he didn't hear me...or at least pretended not to. "Stop Leonard," I said, a little louder this time. But he didn't. 

"I know you like it. We both know you do." Do I? I don't think I do? Or maybe I will when he gets started with whatever he is doing. I mean he would never hurt or use me. 

His hand covered me and I felt like I was about to throw up. This is not how it's supposed to be. I mean...it isn't...right? I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here now. Because if I didn't, he would hurt and use me. 

I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, and then I kicked him in the stomach. As hard as I could. I took a pair of jeans and a hoodie and put it on then I ran outside, grabbed my phone and I just ran. I ran and ran and ran until I got to the train station. I had to get to Jughead. He could help me. 

I was just about to call him when I realized that my phone was dead. A deep sigh left my mouth and I stared at the train station. I walked to the ticket office and looked at the old lady sitting inside. Her gray hair was tied in a bun and her glasses rested on the tip of her nose. 

"Hello," I said with a smile on my face, trying to hide what had just happened. "I need a ticket to Riverdale." My voice was thick and I cleared my throat to make it sound normal. 

"Return ticket?" She kindly asked and I looked down at the little money I had. And then I thought about what just happened and kindly shook my head. She smiled and told me the cost. I gave her all my money and a big smile appeared on her face. "Thank you, here's your ticket. The train leaves in twenty minutes." My eyes grew wide and I felt panic rising inside me. 

What if he found me? What if he found me and finished what he started? He was probably pissed off right now. Maybe he was trying to find me? What if he did? What if he tried to kill me? It felt as if the walls were closing in on me and I tried to catch my breath. My heart was racing and I looked around to see if he was here. 

"Are you okay, sweetie?" The lady asked and I returned to reality. 

"Y-yeah, I just uhm..." I tried to talk but it was as if I had forgotten to fill my lungs with air. I hyperventilated as I looked around. 

"Sweetie?" The lady said and I looked at the clock. Twenty minutes. So much can happen in twenty minutes. It takes five minutes to strangle someone. It takes like three seconds to shoot someone. It takes seven minutes to drive from our home to the train station. "What's your name?" 

I watched as the lady walked out of the office and then to me. She placed her hands on my shoulder. 

"What is your name?" 

"Most people call me Jellybean." I breathed. She gave me a big smile. 

"Jellybean, I like that." I tried to smile at her but failed. "Okay, Jellybean, look at me." I did as I was told. "Take deep breaths." And then somehow she managed to calm me down. And without noticing how, we sat in the ticket office and ate chocolate chip cookies. 

"Where are you going?" She asked. I took a bite of the cookie and looked at my phone, trying to charge it with my mind. 

"To see my older brother," I said, I decided not to tell her about why and that the real reason was that I was running away from Leonard. 

"Yeah?" I nodded. "Does he live in Riverdale?" I nodded again. 

"If...if anyone asks if I was here...can you just say no?" I finally said and her eyes shifted from caring to concerned. 

"You running from home?" She asked. I nodded again. "I did too, once. I took my backpack and took the first train to New York. I had a big fight with my mom you know. But then after one stop I got scared and went back home again." I laughed at her story. "I'm sure your parents will miss you." I looked outside. 

"It just sucks at home but Jughead promised to take me in if anything happened. And something did." I shrugged as if it was nothing. Even though it wasn't. 

____________________

First of all, if this is happening to you, I am begging you, for your own good, to PLEASE get help. This is not how you, as a child, should be treated. It is NEVER okay for ANYONE to touch you on places you don't want to be touched. If you are being sexually abused please please seek help. Either talk to an adult, someone you trust, or talk to the police. 

Second of all, I am so excited to share this book with you all. You seemed to like the first book and I loved writing it. I really did. 

Third of all, your comments really warm my heart. Like damn, sometimes they're the reason I get out of bed. And I know it sounds so fucking cheesy but that really is the truth. I read all of them! 

And lastly, this book contains adult content such as sex scenes, self harm, depression etc., if you feel like that will hurt you or trigger you, please don't read this. There are loads of books here that are way better and less graphic. 

That said 

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW THIS STORY DEVELOPS AND YOUR REACTIONS 

Much love, 

Julia