It was stormy that night. I decided to take advantage of the calming sounds of the rain to put my mind at ease. Grabbing my laptop after filling up a cup of coffee, I found a seat on my living room's couch. Kicking up my feet with the recliner, I took my first sip of the coffee right before hearing my phone begin to ring.
Setting down the mug, I grab my phone. It was my sister.
"Hello?" I answer.
"It's daddy.." Were her first words.
I rush to get dressed after getting off of the phone with her. Shorty after she arrives as we rush to the nearest hospital through the pouring rain.
Making our way up the floors through the elevator, we arrive to the room. My father was in the hospital bed already hooked up to an IV and breathing mask.
Putting the rest into words is more than I can handle right now..
With my sister and I both holding onto his hands, he stared at us, unresponsive.. as he took his last breath.
On the ride home, I felt my heart literally cave into itself. A lump forever stuck in my throat and chest from the pain. And the amount of guilt I carried laid itself over my shoulders like weights.
That night I was restless, unable to eat, drink, or sleep. The only thing I could do.. was cry.
"Useless"
"I Quit"
"It isn't fair"
"God, fucking kill me!"
"I don't want to live anymore.."
Were the only words repeated over and over again both aloud and in my head.
Eventually those tears drained me to the point of exhaustion. My eyes slowly began to close shut as I stared at the ceiling above me.
I wanted to wake up the next morning and realize it was all a dream..
[xxx]
It's a well-known fact that in this life, things come and go. Because nothing lasts forever. It's a rude reality that everyone must come to understand. Some people sooner than others.
Everything has an expiration date, even people.
