let me heal you

𝐈𝐈

♥︎

"I love you"

The only thing Jungkook could hear was his own heart beat. He can feel the thump in his chest and in his head, making him dizzy.

He didn't even hear the words come out of his mouth.

Jungkook watches Taehyungs head tilt up towards him. Their eyes met and Suddenly Jungkook was ten times more nervous than he was before.

I said it

Oh no

The younger opens his mouth to say something else, only to shut it again. His cheeks burn a bright red, as Taehyungs gaze never tears away from him. Jungkook only just realises Taehyung had stopped crying.

But then Taehyung breaks out into a broken laugh and Jungkook can only stare at him, he is terrified and confused to what the boy was laughing at.

"Yeah but, of course you-you love me, you're my best friend, why wouldn't you?" Taehyungs stutter becomes less and less apparent. He's half heartedly smiling while he chuckles through the sentences. "It's like best friend love, right? Isn't it Jungkook-ah? Jungkook?"

The younger swallows the last bit of moisture in his mouth. His mouth is so dry it hurts. Jungkook can't bring himself to answer, he's too scared to open his mouth incase he spills anything else. One crucial line has already been let out of the box, the safe that kept all Jungkooks secret thoughts about his best friend. No one was supposed to know about this, and certainly not Taehyung.

He's so quiet. He has the chance to deny it, to lie, but for some reason he doesn't.

"Oh" is all Taehyung says after a moment of silence. His gaze falls from Jungkook as he seems to take in the new information. He starts to shift on the bed and Jungkook suddenly feels very uncomfortable as though he didn't belong in this room anymore. Waves of worry and shame and guilt pulsed inside of him, oh god what have I done.

Jungkook took a step back from the bed, he noticed the older look up to see what he was doing.

"Jungkook-ah?"

With his mouth seemingly sealed on its own, Jungkook stays silent and took another step back but this time hanging his head in embarrassment.

There was too much going off in Jungkooks head, it felt like the house was crashing down on him, while being surrounded by cold, cold water.

I'm sorry I'm sorry

"Jungkook-ah" the older repeats. "Why are you moving away?" Taehyungs head is spinning, he was still trying to process everything that's happened, along with that Jungkook keeps backing away like he would be ready to run out the room any moment. He had so many questions to ask, but had no idea where to start.

After the agonising conversation had crumbled away, Jungkook decides he should probably excuse himself and leave. Briefly turning to the desk, he grabs his jacket on the back of the chair before moving towards the door.

"Kook? What–Where are you going?" Taehyung stumbles on his words, standing up from his bed. He watches the boy fumble with the door knob, he's still to shocked to even react. (He later regrets not trying to stop the boy from leaving).

Jungkook didn't want to turn back just incase he started welling up with tears.

He opens the door and rushes downstairs, sliding his feet into his shoes. Taehyung follows him down and stops on the last few steps, unsure what is happening.

"Kook-ah you....you don't—"

"It's ok" Jungkook finally speaks, he's forcing the words out of his mouth. "I'm j-just gonna go. It's, um, about time for me to leave."

For some reason Taehyung doesn't move from the third step as he watches Jungkook leave, closing the door behind him. He stands on the step with both his hands tightly gripped on the banister.

It's only until a few (too many) seconds later that Taehyung scrambles to the door and opens it, hoping to see Jungkook somewhere on his front yard.

Clearly, too late.

He reckons Jungkook ran home. His house isn't far from Taehyungs. Close enough for Taehyung to run and meet him there.

But he doesn't. Instead Taehyung closes the door and sits behind it for a while.

With his knees close to his chest, Taehyung wonders whether his best friend is alright. The thought almost makes him laugh to himself— of course he isn't. Jungkook was on the verge of tears as he left, it wasn't hard for Taehyung to see that he was fighting back his emotions. Taehyung knew him too well.

Well he thought so,

Apparently he didn't.

Jungkook did cry, he cries when he reaches his house after he stops running and leans over to catch his breath. At this point, he isn't really sure why he's crying; is it because he just exposed himself after years and years of hiding feelings? Is it from fear of what Taehyung might say? Might think? From fear of what might happen to their friendship? Or is it just because he tripped and fell on his way home and now most definitely had scabs in his knees?
Well, that certainly was the last straw.

He pulls himself together, patting his clothes down and wiping his eyes free of tears, and with one last deep breath he walks into his own home.

Even on that night, Jungkook didn't expect he would remain locked in his room for several days on end.

♥︎