Chilly

7. I Would Remember How You Made Me Feel

Lisa's P.O.V.

"What do you mean, 'I'm going to hang out with Mina'," Jisoo asks, raising her brow. "You never interact with her in private, much less in front of the eyes of the public. What's up with that? How did you get so close to her?"

I shrug. A few weeks after I had made peace with Jennie, I wanted to make more connections to other people other than my fellow members and a few people I knew. I reached out to TWICE's manager, who hosted a dinner along with a few members: Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, Mina and Jihyo. I've already established a good relationship with them, especially Mina, even though both our personalities are very different from each other's. We've texted a lot lately, and we decided to meet for dinner today.

"We text sometimes," I reply, slipping on my denim jacket and black cap. "She's really nice but quite shy. Would you like to come?"

She shakes her head aggressively. "Hell no, I'm too lazy. You go have fun, I guess." The eldest sits on a stool, looking at me with an unreadable expression.

I stare back. "What?"

"Are you going on a date?" She asks, leaning forward towards me. "It really feels like one. Is it a date, Manoban?"

"What? No." I snort and turn my attention back to fixing my outfit. "Do I look good?" How do I even know if it's a date or not? It's not that I don't like Mina, but I'm not interested in her romantically.

Jisoo chuckles. "Our maknae is finally growing up," she sighs, feigning tears. "I'm happy for you. Need anything? Mints, flowers, or maybe a condom?"

"If you don't shut up unnie, I swear to God." I smile at her goofiness. "She's just a friend, okay?"

"Right, because you're still in love with her."

That makes me pause. To be fair, Jisoo unnie's not wrong. Even though Jennie and Kai still are together, there's a little selfish part of me that hopes that they'd break up soon. Because, yes, I still love her. I know you're tired of hearing this over and over again, and if I was just given a chance, I would shout it to the world, rejection be damned.

I try to shoo Jisoo unnie away. "Don't you have anything better to do?" I ask, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, you didn't know? My favorite past time is annoying the hell out of you," she replies, blinking her eyes innocently.

"Oh God."

———

Jennie's P.O.V.

"Lisa went out? With TWICE's Mina? This late?" Chaeyoung asks, both of our arms full of shopping bags.

I raise my brow. She's close with Mina? How come I never knew about this? "Did she say where she was going?" I ask, dropping the bags on the counter, facing Jisoo unnie again. "What time is she coming home?"

The eldest raises her hands to stop us, and sits on the sofa lazily. "Chill with the questions, ladies. I don't know where she's going, or what time she's coming home, Jennie," she says, shrugging. "All she said was that they were going to hang out, that's it."

"She shouldn't have gone!" I exclaim, suddenly feeling my blood boiling at the thought of Lisa hanging out with the TWICE member. I shrug it off, reasoning that it's too dangerous at this time of the night, how much more that they're both celebrities.

Jisoo eyes me, her gaze never leaving me. It's almost like she's forcing me to say something. "Why not? It's good that Lisa's finally reaching out to other idols."

What's not good is that I absolutely had no idea about their friendship. Lisa usually tells me everything. Is she still mad at me or something? I don't think so. We're fine now.

Then why do I feel so heavy? I can't put my finger on it. I don't understand why I'm pissed off, I don't know who I'm mad at. Am I mad at Lisa? At Mina? At Jisoo for not knowing?

"It's late, unnie," I snap, not intentionally, furrowing my brows. "She should've known better."

Jisoo scoffs, laughing at me. "Don't worry, Jen, she'll be fine. Lisa's a big girl, she knows how to handle herself without her unnies."

Chaeyoung smiles widely. "I'm so happy for Lisa, she's finally coming out of her shell," she gushes, her cheeks rising.

I should be happy for Lisa too. She isn't very extroverted, so it's kind of a challenge for her to make friends. She's also a foreigner, so she's not used to these kinds of environment.

But I can't. I'm selfish.

"H-how did she become so close to Mina?" I ask, my shoulders slumping. It's like all the energy I have left has been sucked out of me. I sit beside Jisoo unnie, and I try not to show her my frustrated expression.

"She said it's because they text sometimes, but I think they've already met with each other privately a few times before," she replies. "I've heard from manager oppa that Lisa had him drive to meet with some TWICE members."

I nod. "I see."

There's a smile on both of their faces, but I can't seem to tell why. "Why are you smiling?" I look at them, and their smiles get wider.

"What? I'm just smiling," Chaeyoung says, and she looks at Jisoo unnie, wiggling her eyebrows.

They're both giggling now, nudging each other with that look in their eyes. What the hell are they smiling about? "What is it?" I push, looking at them dumbfoundedly.

They keep cracking up, and frustration kicks in again. I keep asking them why they're like that, but I can't get an answer out of them.

I roll my eyes at them. But my thoughts keep coming back to Lisa and Mina. I wonder what they're talking about. From what I've heard, Mina's a really quiet person, so I think Lisa's doing all the talking. She's probably making a fool of herself to make the TWICE member laugh.

Which sucks, because it makes me angry, and the fact that I feel that way doesn't even make sense. Lisa's not my girlfriend, for Christ's sake.

Then why do I feel this way? I just can't stand the thought of Lisa doing all those things to someone else, when she should be doing all that just to me.

While Jisoo unnie and Chaeyoung are still talking, I excuse myself without another word. Thoughts of Lisa plague my mind, no matter how much I try to avoid it. The undying curiosity of what she's doing right now claws at me.

And then it hits me.

One day, Lisa will belong to someone else. Someone who will hold her close, kiss her, treat her the way she deserves to be treated. She will fall in love with someone else, someone who's not me, and finally feel the love she wanted to experience. I won't be her favorite unnie one day, and I'll be just someone she once knew and loved. She'll be holding hands with someone, giving that person gifts and spoiling them, because I know how selfless and loving Lisa is. She'll have a family of her own, and raise her own children to be like her, so beautiful and kind.

One day, she will forget about me.

The realization slaps me hard, and knocks the wind right out of my lungs.

She deserves to be happy. I can't be that for her right now. I'm not even sure of myself, I just don't want to hurt her again.