Titania's Love Story

Chapter 10: Feelings

During all my classes today since it's Friday thank god, I've been thinking bout how me and Matt been through and looking back how both him and I have done, and just now rearing his new chapter made me feel like it was my fault and a baka, I'm never good expressing my feelings at all. But the one I would never do is hate him, sure he hurts me without realizing it but guess what I don't give a damn! Yea we been through some crazy as shit, I felt hurt, happy, angry, lost pretty much every emotions I felt coming from him but one emotion that was so strong was the love I have for him. Sure my heart was right bout a few things but the thing the tears me up is seeing him cry and upset from me or something else. I was in my feelings and felt slightly hurt reading his chapter hurt and when he read mines I realized that I haven't spoken how I feel all the way. I'm afraid that if show and spoken all my feelings to him I would get hurt again, sure he can be in his moments and I can be in mines but in reality I would never hate him I'm just scared if I talked to him now how I feel I fear the worst.. But I never know until I try, but for now I'm giving him time or maybe less then that I haven't spoken to my wolfy in hours I knew his will be busy, my emotions and feelings get the best of me reading , hearing and seeing things effects me a lot cause living in a house with two parents fighting it triggers me seeing my my other hurt and seeing how relationship are I don't want that to happen to mine. I dont want him to cry not like this we may have our ups and down and good and bad moments but they doesn't stop me from lovong him. My feelings ans emotions are all mixed and fucked up from my step dad from did and my boyfriend hates my step dad. Laying on my bed thinking how I should have tell wolfy how I felt but part of me feared of getting hurt cause well my step dad caused that and everything else I'm trying so hard to break it but I can't do this alone. Down moments I keep thinking does he love me or not but so much as happened we stayed together and I would never hate him I can be angry at him at times.

'Should I take my life away cause I made him cry... I hate seeing him cry even it came from me. '

I thought in my head but in my heart it was telling me other wise and I can feel it , it feels like something but don't know what it is.

'You should take away you life but at the same time you can't blame yourself from showing how you felt and this showed him how much he's done, but he's a good boyfriend reading that he was thinking bout you the whole time. Your emotions gets the best of you cause you've been there in the past this one is a keeper take the risk and speak to him and seek out'
My heart was telling me , and it was right I try so hard and my best to dig down deep in my feelings but I can't and couldn't cause I placed a wall up so it wouldn't get hurt again but now I'm with the one I love I'm hoping some point he'll break down the walls I made and I express more of my feelings then I already am I got deep into it but not deep enough my nervers are in shock hoping that he'll answer me when I text him and if he wanted the treats I made last night he should have asked hehe. Hopefully this can explain why I made those chapters that I did , and the way I am when it comes to my feelings and emotions