The Tower of Nearness

Chapter 13: What was Reason

He'd woken up before dinner and was now sitting with Seren opposite him and Ian on the floor between them. He could tell she had something on her mind because she said very little as she ate and every time she glanced at him, he could see her brows furrow from under his lashes. He would try and catch her eyes but as soon as he lifted his head, she would look away. Eventually, he decided to put an end to it.

"Seren, what's wrong?"

She flinched slightly and twirled her fork in her hand, "I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"Well," she began, "Everyone comes to the Tower for a reason... What is yours?"

He straightened in his seat and cleared his throat to buy some time. He wasn't sure how to even begin. He was no longer clear on his motivations.

"My father became very ill," he started, looking into the corner without seeing, "There is a lot of debate over how much time he has left."

He ran a hand through his hair in a distracted manner.

"I'm his only son, his heir. However, I'm not exactly... what the kingdom wants in a leader."

Seren raised her brow, "what does that mean?"

He ran his hand through his hair. He knew what the people thought of him. Oh, they liked him well enough as a prince, but they had no faith in his leadership abilities. Perhaps they were right too. He'd never even left the kingdom before he began this quest. He was nothing but a fop with a good bearing and titles, who knew a little about fighting. He sighed deeply.

"If he passes away, I will inherit the throne, crown, and kingdom. I want the people to see and believe that I can be a ruler like my father. That they can trust in my ability. I figured that the best way to do that was to complete a quest, but not just any quest. The quest that no one has ever been able to accomplish."

He locked eyes with her, "Freeing the princess from the Tower of Nearness."

He noted that her cheeks coloured a little and her lips parted in a small O-shape. A lance of electricity zipped through him, he snapped his head away.

"I thought... I thought that if I could accomplish the quest then I would have proven myself as a capable leader."

She watched him with a speculative stare.

"That's not all of it, is it?" she tilted her head to the side.

He shook his head and leaned back in his seat. She was right. There was more to it.

"I thought that if I could do it, I could also show to myself that I was good enough to become king."

"Is that what you want?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" His eyebrows drew together.

"Well, do you truly want to be king?" she queried.

"I... of course," he frowned, "What else would I do? I'm the heir."

"You could do anything!" she exclaimed exasperatedly. Lucian could see a wild spark of passion set a low burn to her eyes.

"Lucian, you're your own person, you're allowed to choose what you want. You have a freedom that some rarely get to experience!" She stated, "If you want to be king then that's great but it has to be something you want."

He was quiet as he considered her statement. Did he want to be king? He'd been trained for it his whole life, but did he want it? Did he, in his heart of hearts, want to be responsible for the entire kingdom? He wasn't sure, his heart blurred with indecision.