Sadistically Sweet (Watty Awards Finalist 2012)

A Shattered Dove

The morning after I lost my innocence, I sat in the bathroom crying. My violated body was curled in a ball in the corner. Sobs ripped through my chest until my throat went raw and my eyes would no longer produce tears. I was left to whimper in self pity.

Everything I had ever know had been torn from my life. Francis took my family, life, innocence, and virginity. I was no longer pure and had no way of getting my innocence back.  My body was filthy; no better than trash. It used to be shed in a bright light of purity, until I was dragged into the dark to suffer.

Francis broke me. 

I was like a delicate glass dove, sitting pretty in his filthy hands. Instead of putting me on a shelf for others to see, he dropped me. I depended on his will to keep me whole, but his will was no stronger than my small glass body. The second he released me from his hands, I plummeted to the ground. All I could do was close my eyes and try to ignore what he had done to me. Until I hit the floor. Pieces of my glass body shattered in every direction, never to be the same again.

That day I spent the every waking moment in the bathroom. My sickened body sent me to the toilet to  throw up many times, to the point that I just curled up next to it. I still don't know how many long hours were spend hugging the cold, porcelain toilet in hope I was just having a nightmare.

Francis knocked on the door several times that day, trying to comfort me but I would have none of it. At one point, his pathetic pleas to open the door drove me into the shower. The water swept his voice away, and I was left in silence once again.

Scalding hot water burned my skin as it raced down my sides, but I didn't care. I could barely feel the pain through my emotional breakdown. Somehow my eyes worked up more tears to joint coursing burning water.

For an eternity, it seemed, I stood there, hugging myself. When my mind tired itself out, my subconscious went into action. I picked up a bar of soap and began to cleanse my violated body; washing off Francis's lingering fingers from my skin, but not my mind. 

Despite all efforts, I couldn't help but remember how his hands trailed up and down my body. My eyes were closed the entire time, but it didn't make it hurt any less. 

When Olivia came home the next day, I couldn't help but keep my distance. Just looking at her made me think of her disgusting father. Although, I couldn't help but notice her strange behavior. She was elusive and quiet, always keeping her eyes on the ground. I knew this was weird, but I just couldn't seem to care at the moment. She was the daughter of the man who had just violated me, and I couldn't keep my anger from finding her. 

Eventually, though, I swallowed my pride and made my way to her room to talk, but she was still quiet. I repeatedly asked her what was wrong, but she claimed it was nothing. The only words that she said still rung through my head.

"Haitlin-" she paused, "what is your family like?"

This question came off weird to me. She had been gone two days and had questions about me? 

"Well, I guess you could say it was nice. I had a mom and dad who loved each other very much. I also had a brother named Gregory, who would always keep me out of trouble. Why?" 

My family; they were the only reason I pulled through that week. If it wasn't for them then I might have ended my life, because barely anything was worth living through this hell. 

"W-why?" I managed to ask through my wobbly voice.

She wouldn't make eye contact with me, but I knew she heard me.

"What are you to me?" she asked.

At first, I was confused by the question. Why was she asking all these strange questions?