A Place In This Life

Chapter 19

Walking to school was getting old, not to mention that the morning temperatures had dropped to the low 50s. All bundled up with gloves, a sweatshirt, a jacket, a scarf, jeans with tights underneath, a knit hat and tennis shoes, I would hike the three miles to school, arriving with my hands frozen around my backpack straps. I was done with this walking shit.

When I got to school, I went to find Cara. It had been days since we had our tiff and I wanted to resolve things because I was tired of being cold and I needed birth control advice. Hours spent Googling the subject wouldn't help as much as talking with someone who'd already been down that road.

Cara had lost her virginity in sophomore year to Jerry Adams, a Long Beach-Dub type of guy with shaved head, massive musculature and long shorts. He was also fully sleeved, and at first glance it was hard to tell whether he was wearing a real shirt or just a wife beater. He was also several years older and worked at the nursery lifting gargantuan bags of wood ships and potting soil. Cara took one look at him while flower shopping with her mom and knew she had to have him.

Jerry gave off some kind of pheromones or something that just exuded sex. It must have overpowered the scent of bat guano and manure, because Cara eventually got what she wanted and more, bedding down with Jerry wherever and whenever possible for the better part of six months, until he moved back to Los Angeles to work for his brother's production company.

"I never want to set foot in a godamn nursery again," said Cara of her post-Jerry hatred of all things horticultural.

I had tried to remember what she'd used for protection, but the gory details of her fledgling sex life was something I didn't care to ponder at the time. Now they meant everything to me.

Cara was sitting in her car and applying makeup when I knocked on the window.

"I thought you ran away," she said, rolling down the window, careful to ignore my glances.

"I freaked out. It was a heavy moment and I was pissed."

"Like that hasn't happened before. Whatever, I've put it behind me now," she said, looking me up and down, admiring my woolen walking clothes.

"You look like a popsicle crossed with a sheep."

"I feel like one."

"Do you want me to start driving you to school again?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay, as long as you put it all behind you, too. Get in." She unlocked the door and I slipped into the passenger seat. The car was warm and safe.

"Thanks," I said, removing my gloves.

"You look worried," she said, changing the subject. My worried look must have frozen on my face during the arctic walk to school.

"Actually, I need your help."

"Does this have to do with a boy?"

I put my hand on her shoulder to stop the makeup routine and get her full attention. I gulped and held my breath.

"I need to know what kind of birth control you used with Jerry." Cara's eyes grew into golfballs before she looked at me.

"So you're doing it with Todd?"

"Just once," I said, silently correcting myself because it had really been several times in one day. "I need to make sure I have something next time and cause you've already been there--"

"You didn't use anything? That's stupid, Nally. What if you got pregnant? I mean, what if you got pregnant with chemo sperm?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my tongue, holding back any commentary.