Book Reviews (Currently Closed)

A Little Bit of Joy by wigglysubu

wigglysubu 

Review type: Medium

1. Book Cover

Is it eye-catching?  Oh, it is gorgeous! I love the image you used, but I would say to move the author name to the top so you aren't covering the face of your model. It's a bit awkwardly place half on her cheek.

What impression does it make?  The impression it leaves me with is that this may be a darker, more intense story that will have moments of beauty. But it does give off a rather sad or sorrowful mood inside that beauty.

2. Description & Prologue

Is it too long or too short?  The length is my ideal length for summaries. You want to know what you are getting into without completely spoiling the fun. Personally, I like the length.

What impression does it leave?  It certainly lets you know the circumstances of the characters will be both dramatic and intense. Blood cancer will certainly give you that intensity and sense of suspense of a ticking clock for the main character. The sweetness of the male lead intending to steal from the flower shop and getting his heart stolen instead leaves that nice bittersweet tone that your cover gave off. 

I also really like that you put a disclaimer at the beginning of your book, just to give your audience your perspective on the where you are coming from while writing the novel, just so there aren't any miscommunications or misunderstandings. Very smart.

I also really enjoy the aesthetics sections with the video for those of us in your audience who are a bit more visual. A very clever move I may have to make use of myself one day. It really cements the interest of your readers.

Does it make the reader interested?  I would say you do a successful job of warning your readers that the story will be intense and laced with a bittersweet sorrowful love. I would also suggest putting your summary through a grammar corrector like Grammarly though. Just to get proper punctuation and really clean up the sentence structures, as well as just catching little things you may miss while writing and getting into your story. 

3. Chapters

First chapter impression; does it make the reader wish to continue?     The first chapter (of the story's plot, not just the visuals) is rather interesting and captivating. Usually I avoid stories with darker plot-lines (just a personal preference), but the overall tone of the characters talking about death is upbeat and playful. Then when the MC (main character) spots someone who appears ready to jump off a bridge, everything becomes serious when dealing with a possible life-or-death situation. The dichotomy of the tone really shows that while serious subjects may be treated lightly, if they come to fruition then they will still be dealt with seriously. I also liked that you added the help hotline in the author's note since this is a serious subject and shouldn't be glamorized.

Does it live up to expectations? Is it keeping the reader engaged?    You have a very good balance at keeping the scenery light and airy, even when the characters in your story are obviously dealing with heavy and burdening topics that most might consider gloomy. The way you use text painting to create uplifting scenery around these characters is very engaging and keeps people like me (who are particularity hesitant about reading heavy topics) interested and present.

Is there a good flow? Is it fast-paced or slower paced?    The transitions in the beginning are a bit choppy, but you seem to work through everything rather well as the story progresses. In the first chapter we are zoomed in so close to how the MC is feeling and speaking and thinking, I actually forgot she was still on the phone with Jamal when she was trying to talk the boy on the bridge down. It was a moment of confusion for me as the reader, but easily worked through since the scene wasn't too busy.

Is the imagery coming across well or falling short? In

4. Diction

Are the words used interesting or making sense? Is it readable for a select audience or can everyone read it?      You're using easily understood diction, though sometimes the sentence get a bit jumbled together. (For example, when the boy is giving the MC water he "knocked my head again and again, trying to calm me" which gives the image of someone knocking on her head like they would a door, when I think he's patting her head? Rubbing the back of her neck? I am not sure.) You have British spelling ("colour" whereas Americans have "color") so I assume you are European, which gives a new accent to your writing. It also explains how you are more descriptive and eloquent in your writing, since European style of writing is more detailed and 'floral' (I can't find any other word for it) compared to the simplistic-chic American style. 

I would however be weary of when you get lost in your writing. It happens to me sometimes too. You get so into writing the story, you end up tangling sentences like vines in the garden of your story's imagery. It can lose people who are more relaxed readers, but I think you have a pretty good base for keeping readers. 

What is the overall tone that the words are painting?    The overall tone I received from your story was a gentle balance between the dark and light themes of death and love. It also shows how different people deal with grief. It even had me tearing up more than a few times.

Are the words that are overused or don't quite make sense?    You have a very well balanced usage of different descriptive words, though sometimes I think you plain speak what the character feels and does a bit much. (For example, showing MC getting angry and then having her state she is angry is a bit redundant. Having her feel angry that someone she saved would steal from her is enough for the reader to understand. You don't necessarily have to have her state outright that she is enraged.)

 This could also just be my personal view, but you don't have to state what the MC doesn't get bothered by either. It can be understood from how she reacts to the situation. (For example, when the boy gets moody and she ignores it, you don't have to have her state 'I wasn't bothered' unless you follow it with what she is bothered by. Ex: "He glowered at me which didn't bother me. What did bother me however was that he would treat me so gently only to undercut it with harsh words." That's just an example of a different way to handle your character's emotions versus actions. Most of the time a reader can pick up on what bothers or doesn't bother the MC simply by how they handle situations.

5. Grammar

Are the sentences correct? Is there proper punctuation?  Are there any suggested changes to sentence structure or format?     I personally don't think you have much an issue with these. Just try to put your writing through a spell checker so it can pick up on awkward usage of conjunctions. I'd also suggest to reread your writing, so you too can pick out thinking that could flow more naturally before publishing.

6. Plot

Is it rushed or too slow?    You have a lot better handle on flow speed for your story than I do! Haha! 

Are the characters relatable or too unnatural?    The characters are extremely relatable. They all deal with the situations differently, have their own personalities and have their own goals when dealing with things. I do hesitate about writing out the stammering of words when characters are stammering as they as speaking, but that is just me.

Does it keep the reader wanting to continue?    Yes, for sure.

Is it something memorable?    I mean the fact I could get through and wanted to continue a story about someone who was dying is highly remarkable. I notorious for liking stories that all just have happy endings. So you're highly honored.

7. Final Notes

How can the story be made better or improved upon? Any further advice?

I think you are making remarkable progress. Your story flows naturally and keeps even the most cowardly (me) reader wanting to continue. I would mostly focus on reading your writing before you publish and trying to not lose yourself in your writing as you are writing (something I have trouble with). I think you are successful so far and just continue to plan our your plot. Then ending will be the hardest hurdle to get over, but maybe you already have that planned out!