Gavin and Roxanne ✔️

FIVE

Roxanne continues.

"So this college student, this naive small-town girl – we'll call her Roxanne – gets completely swept off her feet by this handsome, charming guy. We'll call him Brian," she says, expressively accentuating the story with her hands. "He tells her how beautiful she is, how she's his soulmate and his true love and he wants to give her everything she desires. Now this Roxanne, she's not used to this kind of attention, this adoration, so naturally she loves it. She soaks it right up.

"So he proposes, and of course she says 'yes'. They get married – a big, fancy wedding and a honeymoon in the Virgin Islands. They buy a stunning new house, they have three amazing little girls, they don't want for anything. Roxanne can't believe it. All of her wildest dreams are coming true – her happily ever after is real. Sure, Brian's gone a lot, but his business is doing better than he ever expected, and when he is home, he treats Roxanne and the girls like royalty. There are the gifts – so many gifts. The meals out, the family vacations. And not just the stuff money can buy. The little things – telling Roxanne and the girls how much he loves them, making them breakfast almost every morning, attending every recital and every sports game and every school event that he possibly can. He's the perfect husband, the perfect father, the perfect family man. He's too good to be true."

I know Roxanne's tale doesn't have a happy ending, but I need to hear it all anyway, because every bit of it resonates with me to my core. This is everything I felt with Tierney and more.

Roxanne pauses for a few beats, then continues, abruptly shifting from a nearly nostalgic third-person voice to a more immediate first-person. "So one Saturday morning, just over a year ago, right before Christmas, he comes home from the gym and goes right to the shower. He leaves his phone on the kitchen counter. While he's showering, his phone vibrates. New text message. So I pick up the phone, just like I've done a thousand times before. Maybe it's one of the girls. His mom. His brother."

I clench my fists in anticipation, my fingernails sinking into my palms as my stomach drops like a runaway elevator. I know what's coming next.

"There are three messages total. I'll never forget them. Each one is permanently etched into my brain," Roxanne's voice grows tremulous with emotion, her lower lip quivering. "The first one says, 'Hey, you're coming back to SA after Xmas, right?'. I know he's been to San Antonio a few times this year – he's working with a venture capital firm down there – and that's the next trip he has planned. The second one says, 'Maybe we could meet up again.' And the third tells me all I needed to know. 'And have some 'fun' like last time.' Fun is in quotes, and there's a winking emoji.

"They're from a number I don't recognize, the 2-1-0 area code. Someone named Lindsey. And Lindsey's almost always a woman's name – a young woman's name. 'Who the fuck is Lindsey?' I'm thinking to myself. But I already know."

Tears roll down Roxanne's cheeks, sporadically at first, then more steadily. I breathe in deeply and settle back into my chair as I exhale, crossing my hands on my chest. My eyes lock on to Roxanne's, and I tilt my head sympathetically. I'm listening, and I'm feeling every last bit of her pain.

"This crazy tornado of emotions just rips through me. Rage. Sadness. Shock. Heartbreak. Denial. I feel this weight bearing down on my chest, like I'm suffocating, like my whole world is crashing down around me, because it is. I don't know whether to scream or cry or just laugh maniacally, so I just sort of stand there, completely numb, breathing these shallow breaths.

"Brian comes out of the shower in just a towel, going about his business. He takes one look at me, holding his phone with this look of abject horror on my face, and he goes as white as a sheet. He knows that I know. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Finally, after a minute, he says 'I think we need to talk.'"