Soldier in Winter (A Bucky Barnes FanFiction)

Forever

Bucky woke up in a cold sweat, feeling something in his metal hand. It was Ellie. He was strangling her. He dropped her and stepped back, panicking. He saw her coughing and gasping for air, and he wanted to punch himself.

"Ellie- oh god, what have I done?" He began to hyperventilate, but he felt Ellie grab him. He tried to shake her away. He couldn't hurt her, not again. He couldn't hurt her.

"Bucky, I'm okay. It was a nightmare. I forgive you," she whispered.

He shook his head. "No, Ellie, don't."

"Bucky-" he pushed her away himself and went to the bathroom, but before he could shut the door to protect her from himself, she pushed herself in. He turned away from her and went to the small sink, his body was covered in sweat. All he wanted was to just rip off his arm and throw it away, but he couldn't.

"Ellie, you should go. Take the kids and get out of here," he whispered, looking at her in the mirror. She stood behind him, her arms clenched together.

"You think I'm going to walk out at the first sign of trouble? You took me in, you took care of me when I got shot. You took all of us in, even when Ava cried constantly. I am not leaving you now, not after everything you've done for me, for us."

Bucky turned to face her. "Ellie. Get. Out."

Ellie stepped towards him, and even though she was shorter than him, she was incredibly close and intimidating. "God, Bucky! Don't you get it? I don't give a damn about what you did in your past. I give a damn about you now. I care about you!"

"How can you say that? You barely know me!"

Ellie froze. He was right. "And yet I still want you." She said, getting up on her tiptoes and planting a kiss on his lips. She felt Bucky stiffen, so she was about to stop, but he suddenly kissed her back hungrily. He didn't touch her with his metal arm, but he let his right arm grab her around the waist, pulling her in tighter.

Ellie wanted him. She needed him. He pulled her up and set her down on the counter, and she let his hand roam all over her body, touching her everywhere.

"Shower!" She gasped, as he started to peel away her clothes.

Ellie hadn't had a night that passionate in her life, ever. All she wanted was to be consumed by him and the fire that he had started in her. She could have stayed in the bathroom all night, but soon the passionate night all came to a beautiful end. They finished their shower together and put back on their clothing. All Bucky wanted to do was to keep her close to him.

She led him over to his cot and laid down next to him, snuggling up tightly. Bucky felt every inch of her body when it moved and he could actually touch her skin. He needed her every second, but he began to think.

He couldn't let her too close. Things were still not great with him, and he wasn't sure if they had stopped looking for him. He sat up and felt Ellie move beside him. She looked up at him sleepily, frowning.

"Don't leave me, please," she whispered, taking his hand.

"I'm not, I'm just going for a walk. The sun is almost up. I'll get some fruit and be right back," he said, kissing her on the forehead gently.

Ellie rolled over, taking the blanket for herself, and sighed. Her skin was still on fire. The way that he had kissed her neck, her body, her lips. His body against hers, every scar mapped in her head, every breath he took etched into her memory.

After a short nap, Ellie finally rolled out of bed and turned to get breakfast going as she thought back to that night.

The warm shower streamed down on her as she kissed Bucky. She took his metal hand and put it up to her face, feeling him resist.

"Let me do this, let me show you that you can't hurt me," she breathed. He gave in to her, the water soaking both of them as they kissed. She let him wash her with soap, and he, in turn, let her wash him.

It was an intimate moment, where Bucky let her touch his skin, his scars. Everything, at that moment, they shared. As they had gotten out of the shower, he had helped her into the clothes that he had torn off of her, he had left lingering kisses all over her body.

She could still feel them now as she made breakfast, waiting for Barnes to get back. Ava had woken up, so Ellie had paused cooking to take care of her. Charlie woke up and trudged over to start eating the eggs she had made. He only seemed to think about his stomach. Ellie laughed before looking up at the clock. Bucky had been gone for nearly two hours. She sighed and looked over at Ava, who had slipped away from Ellie. She was running around in circles, giggling. Charlie slipped out of his chair and followed suit. Ellie rolled her eyes and joined in, pretending to be a monster chasing them. She stopped suddenly when she heard a knock on the door.

"Bucky, you don't have to knock every time before you enter! The door's unlocked-" she froze when she saw who opened the door. She grabbed both kids and pushed them behind the counter. She grabbed the knife that she had used to cut bread earlier for breakfast.

There was a man standing there, a mask covering part of his face and a giant, round shield in his hand. He reminded her of someone that she had read about in a museum before.

"Who the hell are you?" She demanded, hiding the knife behind her.

"Sorry, I'm looking for someone, you actually said his name," the man replied, holding his hands up in defense.

"Whose name?" Ellie asked quietly. Bucky. He was looking for Bucky.

"Bucky, James Buchanan Barnes. You know him?"

"I think you're mistaken," she said. "I live alone here, with my siblings."

"I'm here to help, my name is Steve, Steve Rogers. I'm a friend," He said, coming further into the apartment.

"I still have no-" she froze when she saw Bucky at the door. He saw how terrified she looked.

"Leave her alone," he said softly, his voice deep. "Let her go." He came into the room, maneuvering around Steve and coming to stand beside Ellie. Ava started to cry, and he picked her up and switched out the knife in Ellie's hand for Ava. Ellie held on tightly to her sister and pulled their go bag out from the cabinet in front of her.

"You know who I am, Bucky," Steve said.

"Let them go," Bucky whispered, setting the knife down on the counter.

"It's too late they're coming for you, Buck. They're going to use any and all force necessary to stop you."

"What happened in Vienna, I don't do that anymore," he said quietly.

"Bucky, what are you talking about?" Ellie turned to Steve, "He's been with me for days, hasn't left my sight."

"Ellie. Get the kids into the bathroom and barricade the door. We'll meet up in the safe place."

Ellie gulped and nodded. She ushered the kids into the bathroom with Bucky's help but hesitated before entering herself. She turned back to Bucky, grabbed his hand and kissed him. He returned it quickly, but suddenly pushed her into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. An explosion went off, causing the kids to cry. There was yelling and shouting, followed by gunfire.

Ellie hunkered over Ava and Charlie and prayed for the first time in her life. She hoped that Bucky would be alright and that they would all make it through the day.