Can Anybody Hear Me?

Chapter 2

"The loss of someone close to you is very tremendous. It is something that is inevitable though. There are no words that we can say to express how we feel. Those that knew her knew that she wouldn't want to see you crying, so dry your tears away and think- no, know that she's in a better place. There's no more suffering, no more pain. She's in a better place."

I tried. I really did. I tried to imagine her in a better place with no worrying but I couldn't. How could I not? The last thing I did was call her Mrs. Brown, and told her I was going upstairs to do homework. If I would've called her mom, if I would've stayed up, she'd still be here right now. It's all my fault. All my fault.

"Ms. Williams, will you please come up here and say a few words for us?"

I slowly rose to me feet while my petite body felt like double its size. As I stood and looked at the people who were there I felt the loss that I had suffered.

"It's my fault," I said. "If it weren't for me she'd still be here."

Grief started taking over and I started to break down.

"If I just would've listened. If I would've stayed up and called her mom, maybe..."

Mrs. Brown's sister ran towards me to catch me as I fell. I couldn't do it. Couldn't take the pain of losing another mother, and the mother that I knew the best.

"Whose gonna help me now? I can't do this by myself. She was all that I had and now she gone. I have nothing- nobody. I'm in this world alone. God usually blesses people with a mother and a father, but HE blessed me with two mothers. And just as fast as I was blessed with them, HE took them. Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I do everything that is told of me, but HE still doesn't feel that I'm worthy. What did I do wrong? Where did I mess up? What's gonna happen to me now? Can somebody please tell me, what's gonna happen to me now?"

"Baby, don't say that," Aunt Sharon started. "Everything happens for a reason. It was her time, she had to go. She lived a full life and she never regretted you. You never in your wildest dream could have killed her, but you were the reason why she lived. She loved you like you were her own. She loved you then, and she loves you now 'cause a mothers' love never dies."

I woke up drenched in sweat, with my face covered in tears.

"It was just a dream. Thank GOD, it was just a dream."

I climbed out of bed and put on my robe and sneakers. I was back in the hood, but it was nothing like how I ever imagined. Maybe because the biggest part of me was missing, was dead. The life of me was buried six feet under in a Bronx cemetery. I cracked open the window so that I could get a breeze. It felt so good.

Breaking through the deafening silence, came someone banging on the door.

It was 3:30 in the morning, who would be coming over at this time I wondered. I walked in the kitchen to get something to drink.

BAM!BAM!BAM! BAM!BAM!BAM!

"Who the fuck is that knocking on my door like they the motherfuckin police!!!"

I stormed to the door and looked through the peek hole. A man was standing there. He was wearing a pair of dark colored jeans and an over-sized hoody.

"Who the fuck is you and what do you want?" I spat out.

"I need for you to open the door and let me in."

"Fuck outta here. I don't know you, so you damn sure ain't coming up in my shit."

"Look CeeCee, I ain't got time for this shit right now. Open the fucking door and stop playin around."

"How do you know my name? Do I know you from somewhere or something?" I asked scared as hell.

"Something like that. Now are you gonna open up the door or what?!?!"

I opened up the door slowly, and just as he went to walk in shots rang out.

"Yo what the fuck-" He pushed the door shut and walked in the house.

"Get your shit. Don't ask no questions and make it fast."

"Excuse me. You coming up in my place and telling me what the fuck to do. Oh hell no you must be trippin."

BAM!BAM!BAM! BAM!BAM!BAM!

"Open up the fucking door."

"Look I don't know what kinda shit that you in but don't be dragging me into your shit. My life is fucked up already."

"You can save the bullshit. All I'm tryna do is save your life. My father sent me here for you. Them people at the door ain't here to talk. They here to finish the job. You're the one that got away. And you're the one that they want to disappear."

"What do you mean?"

The way that this man talked amazed me. It was almost as if he'd known me my entire life and in a way I felt comfortable around him.

"Whenever you ready, Baby Girl."

I returned to reality and found him standing in the window with a bag full of my clothes. As the bangs and screams got louder, I ran toward the window. Just as we reached the ground, the intruders broke in.

We hopped in a car that was parked outside.

"What the hell is going on? You done came and broken up my peaceful home. I was having a good nights rest. I keep my name outta shit over here, but now here you come disturbing shit. Who gave you that right. I'm barely sane and you wanna start more shit. I got enough shit going on in this fucked up piece of shit that I call life."