Terrible Ideas

Chapter Twelve

"You look like shit," Sean's voice startled Max out of his daydream and he blinked at the taller boy, too surprised to properly retort.

"How did you get in here?" Max asked instead, watching as Sean dropped himself unceremoniously onto Max's bed. Max turned his computer chair to face Sean, though Sean seemed to be looking anywhere but.

"Oh, your mom let me in," Sean explained casually. "You know how much she likes me."

"I don't think anyone really likes you, Sean," Max managed, sarcasm coming a bit flat and Sean's face twitched. Max immediatly felt bad. "Sorry that wa-"

"I was actually hoping we could talk," Sean cut him off, turning to face him now and Max fell silent, brow raising in question.

"About what?" Max prompted after a moment.

"About the whole shit fest at practise," Sean said with a vague wave to Max's face that hadn't yet fully healed.

"I think I remember something about that," Max decided, slumping more comfortably in his chair.

"I wanted to apologize for Jake," Sean stated and Max's eyebrows lifted even higher.

"I really don't think Jake wants to apologize."

"Well, no," Sean cringed a little. "He's pretty set in his own opinions."

"Little bit."

"No, I wanted to say I'm sorry that you had to deal with him treating you like shit," Sean said, looking down at his hands. "I'm sorry for everything he said to you and about you. And I'm sorry I never made an effort to stop him. I should have and I didn't. I'm sorry."

"Oh," Max blinked at him and Sean risked a glance at him.

"I don't agree with Jake about a lot of things," Sean explained. "But I didn't want to lose him, I guess, so I just ignored it. But that was probably just as bad as joining him."

"What about now?" Max asked. "Aren't you still afraid of losing him?"

"No," Sean's face set into a glare. "I haven't spoken to him since the day of the fight."

"Really?" Max couldn't help his disbelief. Sean and Jake had been pretty much inseparable since elementary school. 

"Yeah," Sean shifted uncomfortably. "I told him he went too far and he started spewing shit about me being a-" Sean broke off, cleared his throat and glanced awkwardly at Max. "He said some pretty rude shit. Told me to come back when I got my head out of my ass. I'm not planning to go back."

"Jake's an asshole," Max said and Sean cracked a tiny smile.

"Yeah," Sean agreed. There was a long silence and Max regarded Sean. Thought about all the years he's known him. And Sean wasn't a bad guy, he knew this. A bit of a moron. Oblivious, but perhaps not as oblivious as Max had thought.

"I should probably let you know that I really was dressing up like a girl," Max said, and Sean frowned at him in confusion, but Max just forged on ahead. "I lied about it being a dare to get everyone off my back, but I really was sort of a cross-dresser, I guess."

"What the hell?" Sean asked, looking at Max like he was insane. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely," Max said and gave Sean a hard look. "You taking back that apology now?"

"No, idiot." Sean rolled his eyes. "I really don't care what you do in your spare time."

"You sure?" Max questioned. "Because I've recently decided that I probably shouldn't hang around any more homophobes." Or his mom would be pissed.