Welcome, to My humor (short story)

chapter one

I almost forgot the lion which was following me. I had been looking at the vehicle which rode away without me. The lion was following me, and I didn't know what to do. What are you supposed to do in this situation? I know I am the one who has to know this, but I'm not the only one who doesn't have brains. I didn't think of this, who thinks about this? Only people who want to die think about that. People that are suicidal. They just sit down with a cup of tea thinking 'What if a lion follows you? You should run, because you're slower than the lion. So you're absolutely going to win that one.'. It's like telling a person to drink bread. If you want to choke until you're dead it is a good idea, but not if you want to live, like some people want. I started to run, knowing that I wouldn't survive this. Who would? Have you ever heard a person tell a story where they survived, by running away from a lion. Well maybe there are people who can tell that, that are the people who always run away from their problems. Those people know how to run.

The lion was still following me, surprise surprise. Every muscle in my body hurt, and my feet were killing me, just like my lungs. Running wasn't something I did a lot.I never came in a situation where I had to run. Never, until now. When I ran for a moment I thought about I was really doing. I was running for something that was faster than me. I was suffering myself before the lion did it. This is a preview for what was waiting for me. In every sentence there is something that is weird. Why would a lion wait for me? If he is hungry he surely wouldn't wait for animals to just walk into his mouth. I wouldn't wait either. I would grab it and bring it towards me, just like the lion was doing right now. The only thing that was different was that my meal wouldn't walk away. At least, that is not what it had to do. If my meal would walk away from me, I think I'm the one who would walk away quicker. I was out of breath as I looked for a place where I could be save, like a cave, or high up in a tree. It was to bad that I had run away from the green zone. I was now in a bare landscape with no trees, caves or even other animals. That was my third option. To find an other animal which I could give all the fame to, so it would be chased, and not me. I turned around in a large circle, and ran towards the plants again. When I came in the green area again it was way easier, I thought. I felt claws in my back, and it hurt like the devil itself. I kept running, like it was my live which I could save with it. Even though I knew that if I didn't get caught by the lion I would probably faint soon. It was warm and I could already see some black stripes in my sight. At the moment where I thought it was the and, I saw a cave. I ran into the cave, into the dark mess. The cave was dark and long, so I could keep walking for a while. I kept running until I knew the reason again why you should run into a random cave. Most of the time caves didn't come up on the other side, like this one. I ran into the wall at the end of the cave. I made an extremely loud sound, an it felt like my skull was bounced out of my head. I turned around as quick as I could, and I saw the lions coming towards me. Act strong I saw, as I put my hands on my hips, where I felt a pistol. Oh for god sake, have I been running my lungs out of my chest, while I had a gun at the ready? I took out the pistol, and shot in front of me. I didn't know if the bullets got to it's target. Maybe I would never know, and maybe I knew it later. Just in time, before I fainted.

As I opened my eyes I felt something heavy lay on top of me. It was a fury, and heavy piece of meat. Other people may call it a dead lion, but every living creature that had died I see as a useless piece of meat. I tried to get away from the lion, but that wasn't as easy as I expected. It was heavier than I expected. There was a smell coming from the lion that had the label 'not eatable' on it, which wasn't a surprise. But I'm still a bit disappointed, I could have used this meat to eat. I didn't know for how much longer I was going to be here. Maybe it was for a day, maybe for a few days, maybe for a week, maybe for two weeks, maybe for a month, maybe for a year or maybe for my entire live. I put my gun back in the place where it belonged, and I walked to the beginning of the lake. My throat was dry, and I needed to drink some water. I knew where the place where water is from here, but I was scared that I would find some other creatures who were hungry, now I had some blood on me. I knew they would smell the blood and get hungry. And when they were hungry they would follow me, and to be honest is running one of the last things I wanted to do right now. I stepped into the sunlight and saw that it was in the middle of the day. If I went to the little lake in the night I could survive it, so that was my plan for now.