Meeting Arin (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 17

I hadn't heard from Arin in a while. I went out with my girls to the casino. We had a little too much to drink. I had left my phone at home, so I wouldn't make any stupid drunken phone calls. When I came home, I passed out.

The next morning I checked my phone. There was the ever present good morning text from Valerie. And two missed calls... From Arin.... 

I immediately called her back. The phone rang and rang. No answer. Went to voicemail. Ugh. I sent a text, "did you call me?"

No answer. I got around and went to work. Then Arin texted me back. She said she had left rehab. She was staying with Rachelle and she had Alex with her. I couldn't believe she had left! How could she put herself in jeopardy like that! I told her to call the woman who ran the rehab and try to go back. Beg if she had to.

Her texts were sketchy. After work I called her and she said she tried to go back but was told to deal with the consequences of her actions. She also said she hadn't got the job she wanted because she left the rehab. She said she didn't know what she was going to do. I automatically felt the need to help her, but what could I do? 

A day or so later I was off work when Arin text me. She said she needed out of where she was, she needed me to come get her. My heart skipped a beat. Go get her. Okay. Yes. I text her back and got directions. Then I was on my way with little man in the back seat. Butterflies were going crazy inside me.

When I got there Arin explained that her and Alex weren't going to work out. She said Alex had left already. She said her sister was coming to get her, but wanted to go to my house for now. I never hesitated. We just packed her stuff in my car and left. 

"What happened to you and Alex?" I asked.

"We just weren't going to work out. We didn't even have sex." she said.

"Why didn't you hae sex?" I asked.

"I just wasn't feeling it." she said simply.

"It's because she's not me." I said grinning from ear to ear. "I know you missed me."

"I missed you." She said and she giggled a little. "Don't let your head get too big though okay?"

When we got home Arin played wirh the baby for a while. They got along pretty good and it made me smile. I felt like we could make this work. Make this something for real.

We were sitting on the couch and while little man entertained himself, Arin and I sort of cuddled up together. It felt so natural to me. So perfect. 

WE laid around for a while. Then she ate. I felt the weight of that damn ticking clock in my body. Arin was staring into my eyes and there was a million things I wanted to say. I wanted to beg her not to go. Promise her happily ever after. Show her what real love feels like. I said nothing just stared back hoping she felt every unspoken word between us.

When we only had about fifteen minutes until she left I told her to tell me bye. She was sitting on my couch and I bent over to hug her. She pulled me down on top of her. She ran her hands up and down my body then gently kissed my neck. A soft moan escaped me. Then Arin went crazy. She bit my neck causing me to really moan and her hands were firmly grabing my ass. I grabbed her face, looked deep into her eyes and then kissed her long and hard. She was good with her tongue and the thoughts of what else she could do with that tongue really turned me on.

I was sitting on her lap and I began grinding myself on her while we kissed. She grabbed both my arms like she had before and detached me from her.

"I want you," she said.

"I want you too." I said and I kissed her again. I had no idea what I was doing, I just  couldn't let it stop.

Her hands were everywhere. Oh my god, I wanted her.

But I stopped. I held her.

"Do you have to go?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she said.

"Please stay." I said.

"Your divorce isn't even final, and I might be going to prison now." The truth in her words was hard to hear, but true. We both had stuff to get in order.

We got in my car to go meet her sister. We talked. I didn't beg her. I wanted to. I told her somethings about how I had felt. She says I should've told her before. That seems to be my M.O.

Then she left. I didn't even cry like I thought I would. I just... Let her go.

I don't know where Arin is. How she's doing, or who she wakes up to every morning. and I am okay with that. She will never know what she has done for me. If I hadn't met Arin I would still be stuck. I would be going through life on autopilot. Trying to convince everyone around me my life was perfect.

But even more important than that was the realization Arin could never have known that she had given me: the realization that I had been lying to not only everyone around me but to myself. I was married to a man but only truly attracted to women. I think maybe I was afraid to admit it to myself and my family. My parents were in the church, and a lot of my family could be pretty judgemental.

I will always love Arin for that. She will always be a part of me. If she ever called me and needed anything I would be there. I can never repay her.

I finally realized, thanks to Arin, that I had to put myself first every once in a while. Even if that meant disappointing everyone I cares about because at the end of the day you only get one life. And only you can choose to live it on your own terms and be happy. No one else has to wake up and face you in the mirror.