Mature yet Young

Understanding

Day Three: Nightfall

Izuku founded himself in the lobby just finishing washing up from a long patrol period. His muscles were sore all around and even tired from today's hiking.

He gladly appreciated the time to rest. His legs and lower back were the main targets of his fatigue. Izuku breathed a sigh of relaxation. The wet towel hanging on his almost dried hair.

Supper was already served an hour ago and he had another hour to do whatever he wanted or needed before it was time to turn in. He used his towel to continues his drying while looking at the distance. His eyes were generally fixed at his and Kouta's room. The child went to sleep already, Izuku was happy the boy had developed good habits. Going to bed early is the prime example right at the moment and Izuku knows he should follow the said example.

Except something was keeping him up.

How was it that if he didn't mess up, then Kota and Izuku wouldn't be here, well he most likely wouldn't be here. Not that he didn't welcome the chance to work with a hero team that was currently let him stay( even as a punishment). It was the fact Izuku could have prevented a lot of things. So many things that now they even weigh on his thoughts.

He needed to be better, it wasn't helping that he kept on this back and forth of doubt. Saving Katsuki, taking care of Kota, finishing the Previsionary License Exam, and fighting Katsuki. What a trip.

Leaning back, he took his eyes off the room and looked at the ceiling above. Things he wasn't even sure of anymore. For example the straining temporary mentorship from Mandalay. Ever since the incident, she has been less of herself when Izuku found himself around her. He wanted to ask Pixie-Bob or even Tiger on any reason why but he would always stop himself. Izuku was smart enough to make educated guesses. It was a trust issue, who would blame him. Getting another person's nephew involved in an incident.

Izuku clenched his hands together, interlocking his fingers tightly. He didn't like this feeling of guilt, so much so that this was the second strongest feeling of misery. The first was when All Might ceased to continue as a number one hero. As the Symbol of Peace. How was Izuku going to rise up when every turn he took was a lucky break or chaotic turn for the worse?

As much as he wanted to sleep it all away, he couldn't. This was his mind fighting his will.

With a sad yet distant look, he turns to face the entrance. Maybe it does some good would get some last-minute air.

Getting up, Izuku slipped into his red shoes and tiredly trying them. Bringing the towel around his neck and stepping out of the building.

With fall around the corner, the temperature was cooling off. The breeze was gentle. Izuku breathed deeply before taking further steps towards the tree line.

Staying there, looking at nothing especially, only taking in the nightfall and forest itself. Thoughts and memories trailed back a little over a month ago.

The adrenaline was nothing he ever experienced in all of his life. The confrontation with Katsuki didn't amount to the terror Izuku felt when the villains attack the camp.

Feeling his arms, the once torn, flimsily, and broken limbs were useless. Izuku would sometimes scold himself for not being capable enough that night. Sure there were other variables that took place. The fatigue from the training prior to the attack, his lacking in control of the situation against the villains, and the emotional distress he allowed during the whole ordeal.

Nights of waking up in cold sweating on his bed, leaving the stench of fear and vulnerability behind. They started appearing less and less as the time spent with Kota increased. Eventually, the night terrors were almost absent from his life. Almost.