Okay so as you can see on my mb I said my left ear died and I can't hear out of it. At lunch time I sat down and I waited for my friend to sit next to me.i had a lot to talk about and I really needed someone to talk to before I broke down. Well my friend didn't sit by me, instead she sat by Kate. Kate is that typical emo girl and I only like her because she is obsessed with tøp like me. Kate and my friend are pretty good friends but not as good as me and my friend are. Since I missed my bus yesterday and didn't go to school I guess my friend talked to Kate. It was not a good time for my friend to do that. So I broke down and started crying. The thoughts that were making me cry were more like flashbacks.
The first flashback was me and Emma hugging...then me holding a knife up to her and yelling at her.
The second flashback was my mom's note she wrote me and "I didn't think that you loved me" was in bold.
The third flashback was Savanna yelling that I was a jealous friend.
Then like a blue glowing "best friend" sign appeared in my head. Suddenly all those flashbacks starting flickering through my mind in a very fast pace. I continued to cry with the appearance that I had no irl friends. Then I remembered my promise.
"If 2019 is anything like 2018 I'm going to kill myself. I can't do this anymore. I don't wanna be alone"
I realized that last year is becoming a repeat of this year. Except this year I have no Emma. I was sad that I didn't have any friends in my class last school year but I still had Emma. Now I have none. What do you think my solution is?
