28 Days || Jensoo

Chapter 12

Jennie lay on her bunk, tense and angry. The nausea was still rolling in waves, but settling after the initial punch to her system. The rage-inspired tears had been spent fast, but the hollow, furious feeling went on. She was staring at the ceiling, but all she could see was the same scene in her mind. Jisoo. Kai. Together.

Well, you did say you just wanted to be friends. So? Oh, so that was to make her feel okay about kissing you?. Like she could take her time before she went further, NOT that she could go jump the first boy she saw, especially one who just happens to be your only other friend. Jennie rolled to face the wall, the spectre of Jisoo and Kai still hot in her head.

She heard the cabin door open, a fresh brush of air washing in and swimming over her back. It closed, and she didn't move, still riotous with emotion. Her new-found Jisoo sense told her who the invasion was from, but she wasn't going to turn over, wasn't going to move. She felt, or rather, sensed, the purple haired standing by the bunk, knowing that those brown eyes were on her. Those brown eyes that had seemed so full of life and intense, and now Jennie could only think of them as ice-cold.

You aren't being just a bit melodramatic? No.

After all, you did say friends was more important. You like her. You don't want to lose her friendship. So, she's with Kai. You can still be her friend. No.

You can pretend nothing happened when it's between her and you, but her and someone else and it's all over bar the shouting? Yes. Dammit.

Jennie didn't move when she felt Jisoo slide into the bunk beneath her. She edged back so that none of her body showed down the side of the bed. For some stupid reason, she couldn't bear the thought of Jisoo looking at her, even if it was just the shadow of her knee or hand as it drifted over the side of the bunk. Jennie contracted, making herself small and lonely, mirroring her desperate feelings.

You are so damn melodramatic! Shut up.

The night grew, hours flowing on. Jennie did not sleep and, unless she was very much mistaken, neither did Jisoo. Four o'clock swung round on the dial of Jennie's watch, and she swore, sick of lying there, not sleeping. Jumping off the bunk and landing on the floor with cat-like softness, she doffed her jeans and sweater quickly, and went out the door. As she slid out through the barest crack in the door, she caught a glimpse of Jisoo's face in the moonlight, and the glint of brown eyes as they watched her go.

Jennie didn't care. She was determined not to care. Eight days ago she had been self-sufficient, calm, cool, collected and totally in control.

And lonely. God, the voice in her head could be brutally honest. She intended to get those feelings back, to regain control. But right now, she was angry: angry at the world and angry at herself.

And at Jisoo. YOU think she led you on.

How could she have let this girl get to her so much? Jennie was supposed to be the one who loved 'em and left 'em. Even worse, she wasn't sure she could forgive Kai, which would leave her completely alone. That wasn't fair and she knew it. The stupid little competition between them had been in jest, but, well, maybe the best man won. Jisoo wasn't gay. It was that simple. She'd kissed Jennie and proven that to herself.

The realisation didn't make Jennie any happier. In fact, it made her angrier. Wasn't she lonely enough? Her parents sucked in more ways than she could count. Her sexuality and Krystal's enmity made her nearly a pariah at school. Jisoo had seemed like a heck of a good thing, and now it was fucked.

Or you could just go back to being her friend... Somehow, Jennie didn't think that was going to be a possibility.

As dawn rose over the horizon, Jennie found herself back at the edge of the lake, a place she now associated with every major event of the last few days. Part of it was self-torture, sitting where Jisoo and Kai had been sitting, and where Jisoo had kissed her, and part of her just wanted to watch the water lap the shore, hearing its soft slap and splash and letting it wash over her. Through all her hazy thoughts and still boiling anger, she still couldn't help hope that Jisoo would come down and sit next to her, ask her what was wrong.