Lone Ranger

Chapter 1; The beginning always be the hardest

I was entitled as one of the best student for my high school in 2007. I got a lot of offered to persue my study to a higher certificate ranging from local and foreign university. I'm choosing a university that not too far away from my grandma as I never can separate with her and I was never dreaming off to study in overseas. I completed my pre university study in 6 months and secured a place in local university. Grandma want me to become a doctor hence I persuing my study in medical. Medical is not really what I loved to be in. I done all of this because of her. I finished my 5 years study in medical and graduated. All of this specially for grandma. I want to be a firefighter but grandma strictly not allowed me to join the cadet. She used to said that it was a job for a guy not for a lady. Then I would said that I wished I was a boy so I could become a firefighter. Grandma knew that I wanna be a firefighter due the old incident. She doesn't want me to hurt. She wanted me to forget it all and start fresh. I used to ask her why she want me to become a doctor. She always said the same thing which is she want me to cure her whenever she sick. She want me to belong with people so that I am not lonely when shes gone as she knew I don't like to mingle around with people. I loved to do everything myself. I just enjoyed to do everything alone. I even used to travel alone during my study without shes knowing. This character built in myself right after the incident that I'll never forget. It changed me from a talkative girl into a quiet little girl.

Right after I finished my medical school, I'd been rejected the permanent position being offered at my resident places as a medical officer. Im seriously tired of doing what I'm not into and my journey to become a very first firewoman in my town began whenever an ad from newspaper quickly caught my eye. I quickly signed up when the department went on recruitment drive in 2014 in response to a manpower shortage. Im not surprised that I passed the very first round of the Union Public Service Commission-styled as well as the physical entrance exam because im pretty good on learning and of course physical as I always trained myself to be strong like a man. During the second round which is the medical examination part, I still remember that the doctor told me to think over and over again about entering this services as it was a grueling course for a lady. He doubt that I can do it. I believe on myself. I only have Hannah in my mind by that time. I almost reached my dream. Im almost there Hannah! My very last step was an interview with an intimidating panel. I cleary remembered, one of the panel used to doubt my passion.

"Do you really think you can handle this work? and why should we hire a lady in fact they're finally not able to cope with it. Such a wasting investment." Question just as per my expectation.

"Well sir if you train me correctly, then that shouldn't be a problem and I was very eager to break through gender stereotypes. As for me your sex doesn't matter if you have a heart and ability passion on the work. This is what I wanna be sir. I'm kindly appreciated if you give me at least a chance to prove. If you doubt of my credibility, I won't be here right in front of you now. and I'm ready to serve!" Im answering sincerely with hope he can feel my passion into this kind of job.

"Why you choosed to be here despite of your qualification in medical field? It was an everyone's dream. You fight all the way to get your cert and now you turn it down." I can sense that he's still doubt me.

"Because I've been tired to fight for the thing that I'm never in all this while. It's may be everyone else dream but I'm not that everyone sir. I'm never turn it down sir as I think learning is a continuous process and sky is the limit. I may be beneficial to this services some day despite my qualification. I just wanna be in the suit and fight like a man sir. I truly appreciate if you get me at least a chance." I'm sound like begging him. Yes im begging. Im desperate for this chance. Once I cleared the interview, my dream of wearing a uniform was now closer than ever. I passed. I was extremely happy. The hardest moment of this journey is to convince my grandma to support on what i'm in for. Until now I had to tell her that I'm gonna served as a medical personnel in a Fire Services Department. I lost an idea to make her accept my passion. Until now shes still believed that I was a medical personnel in the department.

After 10 months of gruelling training, i was finally became a full-time female firefighter. By that time only 10 female candidate manage to passed all of the training. Im so glad I'm one of the successful candidate. My hard work paid off. There was a moment where I'm about to quit but my eager stronger than everything else. As a female candidate, we weren't treated any differently from the others. Like the male candidates, we must be able to climb a ladders in one minutes while carrying an 18 kg of an oxygen cylinder. Somehow, we may be carrying at least 30kg of protective gear and equipment on our back and in some cases almost half of our weight. Basically all the training involving us to carry that 18kg oxygen tank like we carrying our life. We also had to drag more less 20 metres of heavy fire hoses within 10 seconds . The requirements to be a firefighter is the same no matter you're a man or woman. They aren't give you mini-sized equipment to fight fires just because you're female. We must meet such tough physical requirement to be able to work effectively and rescue people in hazardous environments. Of course remembrance of Hannah make me passed all of this. The course was about a game between physical and mental. I even crying all the nights due to the pain all over my body until at the end i'm someone that can handle pain very well. Me and another female candidate also even to the extend of lick the yard clean whenever we failed in certain mission. In the courses as a female candidate, we have to work extra hard because we knew that woman physically disadvantage to man. Sometime we forgot that we were a lady. At the end, I understand that it takes more than being in top physical form to make a great firefighter. Its all about a passion. Passion obviously beat the natural talent of mine. All those while it teach me that once the uniform is on me, I am a firefighter. I'm not a woman, I'm not a man.

Once im officially graduated from the 10 months courses, I pretty down when I was being placed on another different unit despite of my qualification. I was placed on the fire forensic team instead of the operation team. However, going deeper into the investigation field, I found that it suit my passion as well. Every fire scene is a puzzle that I must completed and its becoming interesting case by case and day by day. I even spent my whole time to solved that puzzle especially when I put myself into the cases. It doesn't matter as long as I am a firefighter. It is a job that I feel can really directly help people. It gives great satisfaction for me and the most important thing is it is the only thing that make me feel Hannah is just next to me.