A Chance to Live

Chapter 9: Bending

     Blackness and sorrow surrounded my soul as I plummeted through what seemed like a sea of blackness. Ironically I slammed into solid ground, elbow deep in water as ripples extended outwards from my body, glimmering in light from no source. My entire surroundings were completely covered in darkness, and I could barely see my own claws in front of me as my head darted around.

     Drip, drop, drip, drop.

     Silence ensued after every disturbance, my ears twitching from the quiet alone. It was unnerving to be alone in my own head like this, and I wanted to scream, the silence beating my head around as my body tensed and convulsed, moving in rhythm with each quiver.

     Drip, drop, drip, drop.

     I felt like going mad, hoping for response from somewhere. But the dripping of water in the distance reminded me where I was. I knew I wasn't alone.

     'Why have you brought me here?'

     'I did nothing. You brought yourself here, just like every time before. I have no control over your thoughts. Just influence.'

     'Then why are you here? What are you?'

     'Like I said: influence. I am just here do advise you. A figure of your imagination I am not, just a fragment of your mind. The voice in your head. An emblem of your conscience.'

     'Why do you always speak like that?'

     'Why do you always ask so many questions?'

     'You said it yourself: you're supposed to be an advisor.'

     Silence. I decided to keep pushing, finally having them backed into a corner. They had been bugging me long enough; I wanted answers.

     'Yet you keep controlling my feelings. You enact your will upon me all the time, driving me to insanity, to the point where I think you're more than what you say to be.'

     'How about a different question; why have you shown me these things?'

     Still silence. It irritated me. I knew they had heard me.

     'That's your memory working there. I did nothing. It seems as if your conscience is trying to tell itself something. Perhaps you should listen.'

     'The second one was no memory. Why did she appear in my mind? I had let go a long time ago, and yet you keep pushing! What do you want from me?!'

     'Nothing but for your safety. I don't think you understand your position here.'

     'What do you mean?'

     'Here you are getting lovey dovey with the humans, when only two months earlier you had promised you would not stop until you watched them all burn. What happened to you? You're setting up your own doom.'

     'It was you who promised that, not me.'

     'We are one and the same, you and I. I am you and you are me. There is no 'me and him'; there is only us. You seem to have forgotten that.'

     'Because it's not true.'

     'Humans only have greed, with no regard for the others around them. Don't tell me this is a lie, for you have seen it with your own eyes. I'm telling you: sooner or later, they will turn on you. Then you'll come running back to me. Even now they keep you in this cage.'

     'It's not a cage; I can leave of my own free will. You can tell me these things all you want, I know I'm right.'

     I sensed the room begin to significantly rise in temperature, a sign I knew all too well. I closed my eyes like a bolt, squeezing them shut. I felt dread build up in my body, and I just wanted to run away and hide.