broken beyond repair... swasan 3 shots...

part 2b

After 7 days...

Sanskar is like his breath depends on pari... we heard stories in childhood like... there was a monster and his life is caged in some parrot or some insects like the large black bee, that he hide from everyone... sanska's situation is like that... he wants to hide her from everyone... the nightmares that his pari is going far away... the fear pari will lost again... that never stops... his insecurities regarding dangerous he can feel it but can't stop it... and the worst thing is that there is none who can give him assurance that "nothing will happen"... after terrible nightmares there is none who can rub his back and say "calm down see all is fine".... Looking at his side when his eyes falls on the sleeping pari he can't help but stares at her all night... and now the worst thing is his badepapa, papa, laksh all wants him in office... and he don't know what he will do... he knows he will get mad... or can say he already get... a genuine mad person... in good language a genuine psychiatric patient...

Swara's day starts with nothing but feeding her child then working in kitchen... eating healthy healthy food as per sanskar's order... and then nothing... she literally accept it that he is not an human being... but a thing which others can use... a very genuine so called "usable thing"... in past she used as play card in her parent's house... used for fulfilling wishes of her family... then used for giving hire to a family and entertain her ex husband every single night... that may be right after her painful abortion... the baby delivering machine... and now used for feeding her ownchild but sometimes the doubt came... own child? Her own? Really?

Sanskar tried again: papa... how can I leave my pari? I...

Ram gets up abruptly: stop being mad sanskar... you got your child and we all are happy... but being a man being a husband being a father you need to earn money for them... if you don't come office then ok... everything is fine... but earn your own... and take care of them...

Sanskar looks down...

Swara was standing there as a silent spectator... then goes up and sleeps on her side beside pari... after sometime sanskar comes and sleeps... he may be 1st time of the day look at his so called newly wedded wife... she is lying straight... but not sleeping, looking straight in to the roof... : you... you will take care of her right?

Swara looks at him instantly... she don't feel rage she felt laughing... and she chuckles... sanskar frowns: why are you laughing...

Swara stops abruptly: sorry sir...

Sanskar frowns more: did you just call me sir?

Swara didn't answer... and kept silent... sanskar looks at her for sometime... but soon his concentration broke as pari suddenly cry out loudly... she is hungry...

Both sits up and swara takes her from bed... swara covers her with her pallu and starts to feed her... sanskar keeps on sitting looking at particular nothing... after half an hour or so when she again placed her on bed sanskar starts to cares her hair...

Swara goes out from the bed and walks up to the adjacent balcony... taking one picture from her cupboard...

She knows after few minutes he will come and will say "you shouldn't sit in cold... you will get fever... and bla bla bla"...

As usual... after some 15 minuts he came.... And says: how much time I should tell you that...

He didn't complete and swara gets up and starts to move towards room... sanskar again stops her: you didn't answer? You will take care of her right?

Swara turns but didn't look at him: your pari... it was an normar delevary... a genuine normal delevary... that time... I was feeling like that's it... its my end... doctors was saying me to push... she was continuously encouraging me.... but I was in no state to listen... that pain was engulfing me continuously... my heart and brain both knew if I loose my sense if I didn't push I will lose her... and after 3 abortion... I knew... I knew I can tolerate everything but can't lose her... I kept aside everything and with my all energy I starts to push her... she came... doctor say me... swara... it's a girl... look... she was crying... and when doctors comes with her to me... she was so small... covers with blood... she like sensed me and stops her crying... then looks at me...that time I felt like the pain I was feeling that time and also the time before it is nothing infront of her... her eyes and her look... I felt like I can tolerate thousand times more pain for her...