Breaking Barricades (Levi x Reader)

15. ** Knives **

It felt strange having someone else know everything I had tried to forget. It was painful to recall it all, yet therapeutic in a way too. I knew my world was small, but discovering that Levi and I had unknowingly crossed paths once before made me realize just how vital he was to me. Personally, I was incredibly grateful for what he had done. But he was overwhelmingly guilt-ridden, continuing to grapple with the fact that he had taken part in giving me my scar, even if his actions did save my life.

No one else noticed, but he continued to hide his shame whenever he caught a glimpse of my scar. No matter what I said or did, he wouldn't let it go; he wouldn't forgive himself. He acted as if he had been the one who slit my throat all along, not my father.

There was such a silent debate between us, about how his actions had shaped my life. He felt responsible for not stopping me from running away; for being caught by Viktor while trying to at least die in the sunlight; for being forced to live in the Capitol under constant abuse; and for everything thereafter.

This was so unlike him, and I became worried about his ability to focus on the task at hand: working with Eren and studying his Titan abilities before our fast approaching expedition.

The day had finally come to a close, ending with the squad's usual congregation around the table, sipping tea and warming ourselves by the fire. Everyone could sense something was off with Levi, but dare not mention it. Once Eld had called it a night, everyone else was quick to follow, except for me. I poured myself another cup of tea, which was unfortunately cold by that time. I enjoyed the peace and quiet, since apparently I wasn't allowed to be alone.

I found the sound of the crackling fire to be soothing, watching the embers glowing happily. It reminded me of when I was a child, how I would stay up late to listen to the stories my parents would tell me. Looking back, they were all so whimsical, but they allowed my imagination to flourish. I would give anything to go back to those days where everything was so simple and innocent.

I tipped the tea pot for a refill, but it was empty. I slumped in my chair and looked around the room to find the tea leaves and kettle, but they had already been returned to the kitchen.

"Well, damnit," I muttered.

I stood up, making my way toward the pantry when I heard the shuffle of footsteps near the rear entrance of the kitchen. It was dark, so I couldn't see much. A few steps to my left were the knives, which I instinctively wanted immediately. Without taking my eyes off of the door, I began to quietly side-step toward the Butcher Block. The first knife I felt, I withdrew in haste.
The silence was unsettling, as I had yet to hear a retreat. I inhaled deeply, holding my breath as I swiftly charged through the door, busting it wide open.

I could feel resistance as I pushed through, so I knew I wasn't alone. Before I had time to turn and face my opponent, I was thrown to the ground. I couldn't see who had me pinned, but their grasp tightened around my wrist, trying to force me to drop the knife. I could feel them struggling to keep me grounded, but my adrenaline began to peak.

I seized the opportunity to throw my elbow back the moment I noticed their grip weakening. I could hear a grunt as they fell off of me. Instantly, I whipped around, throwing my weight against them, holding my knife to their throat.

"What the hell do you want!?" I screamed, realizing I had pinned down a young, terrified MP.

"Please! I'm sorry! I had no other choice!" He began to plead, fear bleeding from his eyes.

"Did Viktor send you!?"

"Yes, YES! I'm just supposed to confirm your whereabouts-- that's it... I swear!"