Queer Friendly Sex Education (informative)

Safe(r) Sex

In this section masturbation will be included in the general term of "sex".

Also, this is one of the most important sections (this and the consent one) so please read the entire thing through.

In this section, I'm going to assume you understand the dangers of STIs/STDs and pregnancy but if you want me to do a separate section on different STIs/STDs and treatment options and stuff just let me know.

Should you use a Condom for oral?

So we've all been taught that we should use condoms for vaginal or anal sex because sexually transmitted infections can be spread that way. But do we need to use a condom for oral? Or a dental dam (a thin sheet of latex that you can lick through)?

The Risks of Oral

So you may or may not know that it is possible to get some STIs from oral sex (that's licking or sucking someone's penis, clitoris, vulva, or anus). There isn't a lot of evidence about exactly which kinds and how likely it is that you can catch STIs from oral. However, the FPA reckon that there is less chance of getting an STI from oral than from unprotected vaginal or anal sex.

The FPA also say that the three most likely STIs to be caught from oral are: Herpes (most common), Gonorrhoea and Syphilis. Out of these the most common (in the UK) is Herpes – gonorrhea, and syphilis are much less common generally. Herpes is one of the less dangerous STIs around (although it's probably a good idea to try and avoid getting it if you can).

So it looks like, at first glance, oral sex is safer than other kinds of sex. However, remember, you can get an STI from someone that has got one (or you can also give someone an STI if you have one). So your risks are going to be different depending on who you have sex with (as they are for all kinds of sex).

Do you need to use a dam or condom for oral?

If you or your partner have an infection that can be passed on through sex, you are more at risk from oral without condoms or dams. So if you or your partner does have an infection then it's a good idea to use condoms or dams to prevent getting or giving them, or avoid unprotected oral if you are infectious (e.g. you have, or are about to have a blister or rash).

Sometimes people know they have an infection and sometimes they don't know (because often STIs don't have recognizable symptoms). Sometimes people may have an infection and not tell the other person. For this reason, it might be worth you going to Planned Parenthood and having a chat with a health adviser or someone else who can give you some one-to-one advice.

Particular STIs that may be transmitted orally might be more common with particular people. This is how STIs work, they affect a bunch of people who are all having sex with each other. This can be where they live, or which kinds of people they have sex with. So a sexual health clinic might be able to give you some advice about whether you should be using condoms or not for oral. These risks are the same for oral sex on the anus, but there are risks of other infections from this too.

When you're thinking about the risks of sex you should also think about the rewards too. Most things that are worth doing involve taking some risks. With sex, we can reduce the risks until they are very low indeed, but there are always some risks of some kind. You need to weigh up the risks of getting an infection from unprotected oral sex with the pleasure of what unprotected oral gives you.

How to make it easier to use a condom for oral

A lot of people don't want to use condoms for oral because they don't worry about the risks. However, I think that more people would be up for using dams or condoms for oral if it was easier to do. So here are a few reasons why people find using them difficult with some tips on how to make it easier.