from joel: i need to talk to you
from joel: can you at least let me know you're alive?
to joel: i'm alive
from joel: why haven't you been answering anyone?
to joel: um i don't know maybe because i broke up with my boyfriend, everyone at work knows how terrible of a person i am, and my heart broke twice in the past few months
from joel: ... :( ari
to joel: i let you know i'm alive now bye
i throw my phone to the end of my bed and cover myself with the covers again. finally back in my own peaceful world.
my eyelids grow heavier, but widen at the sound of the doorbell ringing.
i stay as still as possible hoping the person would leave if they think no one is home.
"i know you're in there and i'm not leaving until you open the door."
my eyes widen at the voice.
i throw the covers off my body and check the mirror before heading towards the door.
i take a deep breath and unlock it.
"hi" i whisper, my voice raspy from the lack of speech this weekend. "hi" mark replies.
i stare at him waiting for him to say something else.
"can we talk?"
i nod opening the door wider for him. he hesitantly walks in and takes a seat on the couch. i follow his direction and sit next to him.
"listen about what i said last time we spoke.. i'm sorry" he says.
i nod, "i'm sorry too... for everything. i never meant to hurt you." he sighs heavily, burrowing his face in his hands, "i loved you know."
i gasp at his confession. "i was going to tell you later that night, b-but obviously i didn't get to."
the swirl of guilt returns in my stomach. "mark i don't know what to say."
he chuckles breathlessly, "you don't have to say anything. i just wanted to say sorry and that i wish things didn't end how they did."
"i know, it's my fault i'm sorry" i reply. he looks at me from the corner of his eye, a question brooding in his head from the expression on his face.
"what is it?" i ask. he faces me fully, "do you love him? or is it some fling?"
"um- uh sometimes it's just a fling? just a strong feeling of passion, but sometimes it's more than that. my feelings have been growing for years now so i- i know i love him."
his face drops, but he nods. "i was beginning to fall in love with you if that's what you were wondering. you were nice, you still are despite what you have said to me. you're caring and really amazing, mark. you'll meet someone else, someone who actually deserves.. but that person just isn't me."
a small smile forms on his face, "thanks. i hope things work out with you and joel. you seem to love him a lot and if he doesn't feel the same way about you then he's just an idiot."
i smile back at him, "friends?"
he nods, "friends."
we stare at each other in silence until it grows awkward. "i've got to get going" he says, standing up from the couch. "alright. it was nice talking to you."
i walk him to the door and watch him leave. he mumbles a "sorry dude" when he bumps into someone down the hall.
my eyes widen for the second time today when i see his figure walking towards my door.
"what was he doing here?" joel asks, eyes burning with anger.
