Reading Derrida From The Gutter

Somewhere To Disintegrate

'You who so appreciate a writer's inability to describe or inform-I'll tear a few terrible leaves from my book of the damned.'

Beauty lives outside my window, and harmony, like a fairytale, with its flickering lights and howling sirens -- the rusty fallen landscape, the colossi outstretched against the sky. It powers the very human engine. And the Red Worm crawls round the vessels like a giant reel on a projector, but much slower, pressing its huge bulk tight against the ectoplasmic film. Round and round it goes, where memories, or the stories we tell ourselves, usurp the moment as such.

Disorienting? Yes. But not any different than reliving the past.

Its name is Derrida, or that's what I've called it, and electricity flickers through its veins, veins that wrap like wires around its bulk and squeeze its flesh plump so that it bulges. It crawls round the gap between here and somewhere other, a deviant organic bubbling up flickering on/off a technicolor threshold, creating a conflict of a very real metaphorical nature. But spectres have always burrowed their way through our stories, projecting our view of that thing often referred to as life. You can see it smothering this one can't you? It's neither an image of this nor an image of that but slides between the two, flickering, this red worm, as they pass in front of one another.

'Here it is. No, wait! It's over there."

I continue to chase it, and as I do, I fuel it with my essence. If there isn't anything here, like a message, then I wouldn't see it, right? It wouldn't exist within my understanding, even if it is crawling outside of the fringe?

I contemplate it, believing there's a presence inside the organic throb. One side is exacerbated while the other diminishes -- and its electrical veins circulate hypnotically. So the world spins round.

It haunts you too.

But alas, I remain walled up and find my charge in this machine.

But this can't be happening. I just want to feel its warm light on my face again 😟 Instead I'm stuck using this. It has more of a winter light. Nothing that could ever bring me peace 😱

The only thing it shines any light on is that all around me, just a moment of space away, exist all kinds of horror just waiting to breach a tear in the veil and come toppling down on me 👾

No! And I already told you -- last night! Here!

You're the one living in a simulation, and I'm not sure you're ready for a glimpse of reality -- when the pillars of existence come crumbling down 🌋 There are things outside the fringe you can't even begin to imagine 🌑 I know there's a black monolith at the heart -- somewhere other.

I can't even be sure who I'm talking to right now. Maybe you're one of them. I mean as far as I can tell you're some disembodied, maybe nonexistent figure. And maybe I'm same -- probably.

Wait a minute! I was promised an experience that would transcend any up to this point. It was supposed to be seamless too. It's by invitation only, and whoever designed it left no footprint 👽

Flicker is all it says in black-and-white 8-bit that pixelates just like the name suggests, as if the website is designed solely for the purpose of hosting this thing. I don't remember how I got here, but it's late. Another one of those rabbit holes you fall down after chasing links all night.

But I have a romantic flaw in my program. I am drawn to the eternal flame like anyone is drawn to any flame. I, like Prometheus, want to steal fire from the gods.

When they finally stopped denying the existence of such phenomenon and started looking a little deeper, they decided it was appropriate to put something together, an organization, for further investigation, which should tell you something. So there is more information out there, but there's always something new surfacing making it impossible to keep up. Online communities formed in response to the need and started performing their own investigations, or simply reported them. You still need to be open to looking, and if you are, you'll find something. But I can't find anything on this, and I am capable of getting around a tor browser. If I attach the link, it won't open for anyone else.