6. I Lost Myself

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When I was a kid,
I had this habit of collecting pebbles from roadsides.
Keeping them in a purple velvet bag.
I would go around with that bag hanging around my denim.
Beauty lies everywhere I believed.
So grandma gifted me a bigger bag.
For there are lot many precious stones to collect.

When I was a kid,
I had this habit of reading dictionary till midnight.
Words are fascinating.
I would try to grasp in as much of it as I could till my tongue knew it in and out.
Single word. Myriads of emotions yet lucid.
It was all fascinating, for how a single word had so many things to show.

When I was a kid,
I had this habit of eating soap bars from every house Papa took me to,
I was curious how it tasted.
If every different color would paint my mouth like the rainbow.
It tasted weird and I made all kinds of faces.
But it was exciting concluding things.

When I was a kid,
I had hairs shorter than my brother,
I would wear anklets and play basketball.
I would wear frock and play with mechanical toys.
I love figures of speech.
But it never made sense if I was an Antithesis or a Paradox.

Now I go around collecting to do lists, dreams, things to do before your 30s.
Now I have this habit of grasping and holding onto regrets and flaws.
I don't do things which seem unusual.
I go around calculating risks and carrying pages of how a certain thing has to be done.
Two decades later I think maybe I wasn't a weird kid.
So I am just trying to reach to her again.

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