Out of My Shell

Chapter 5: Desire

--Chapter 5: Desire

Hours.
They had been out there, scouring the streets for what seemed like hours with still no sign of the mysterious night visitor. In the end, four tired ninjas dragged their feet down the long tunnels to their home, tired, hungry and luckless.
"I just don't get it, how has nobody seen anything?" Leo wondered.
"My bet is still on the Pizza Phantom," Mikey confidently replied.
Raphael narrowed his eyes on him. "How would a ghost pick up a chainsaw?" he challenged.
"Uhh, ghost chainsaw, dude. That's why nobody hears it."
...As if that was a totally legitimate answer.
Raphael tried to resist the urge to hurt his brother, but the temptation was mighty. Donnie quickly intervened on his behalf.
"Highly unlikely... There's got to be a logical explanation for this."
"Well, I don't know about you guys but I can't think on an empty stomach," Leo announced. "Who wants some ham?!"
"...OOH! ME!!" Mikey waved his hand in excitement, "I'm totally down!" He pushed past all of them in order to catch up to the prospect of food.
Donnie and Raph just stared after him for a moment, marveling at the wonder that was their younger brother.
"...Wasn't he the one complaining about ham a few hours ago?"
Donnie shrugged. "I make it a point to never try to understand what goes on through his brain."
Raph chuckled at that. No truer words had been spoken. He smiled over at that Donnie, who returned it with his own light, dorky little Donnie smile...
Raph turned his eyes away nervously. And as he did, Donnie thought saw something else strange flash in his brother's eyes.
It disappeared as soon as it came, quickly replaced with his trademark devilish smile and Raph circled about, giving him a hearty knock in the shoulder before leaving him behind all alone in the empty hall.
"Ow," Donnie tried to rub the hurt from his arm as it seemed Raph never quite knew his own strength. He wondered to himself what had suddenly caused Raph's sudden strange behavior, remembering the way his eyes had shifted and that look that came over his face.
It had almost looked like... fear.
--
Eventually Donnie caught up to the rest of them and sat down under the warm, comfortable light of the kitchen. Mikey was hard at work opening up three new cans of ham that would inevitably go with their next meal, an apron proudly tied around his shell.
"Today's menu is ham spaghetti," he announced brightly.
Raphael maneuvered his way into the chair beside Donnie, the glass of water he poured himself earlier held tight in his fist. "Gee, I can't wait," he said sarcastically.
....Something was still off. Donnie didn't know if it was his body language or what it was, but he just knew...
Something was really bothering Raph.
Donnie stole a glance over beside him, watching Raph take a long draw from his drink.
"...You starin' at somethin' in particular?" he teased.
"Ah!" Donnie turned away startled, a bit embarrassed that Raph would accuse him of that. "I... just... was wondering... you looked a bit troubled earlier... is something wrong?"
Raphael blinked his green eyes. "No, nothin'," he said into his glass, taking another swig.
Donatello was unsatisfied with the answer but took it quietly, now feeling Raph's smoldering eyes pan over, studying him right back and he couldn't help feel a little self-conscious. Lately he'd been making him more uneasy than usual, but then again Raph always had that piercing stare that made you feel like he was trying to burn a hole through your soul. "So where'd ya hide the book this time?" Raph asked. "Let me guess, behind your second bookcase?"
"How do know these things?!" Donnie wailed, louder than necessary.
"I'm right?!" Raph couldn't believe it. "Man, you are seriously bad at this. How do you even function?!"
Leonardo rolled his eyes from the kitchen. He had no idea what they were talking about, not having paid attention in the least, but at least they seemed to be getting along for a change. Michelangelo had just finished his concoction and presented it to all of his brothers making his way to the couch. "Who's up for some Robo Ninjas Three~? I call first player!"
"What? No way! Why am I always second player?!" Leonardo grabbed a plate of the finished weirdness and sat down on the couch with Mikey.
Donnie glanced over to Raph. Their eyes met for a moment too long and Donnie quickly averted his gaze, listening to Mikey.
"Because I am the master... though we can't really play a game while we're eating at the same time," Mikey muttered, his eyes growing wide, as this was a very serious dilemma of life.
This always seemed to be a serious dilemma of life with Mikey. He looked from his controller to his food, the pressure of the decision bearing down on him. "To eat... or play video games? Eat ... Or videogames?! ....EAT?! Or..."
Donnie smacked himself in the forehead at the idiotic plight and grievous lack of common sense. "Why don't you just wait until you're done eating before trying to play your game?! You know it never works out for you!"
Michelangelo thought about it, recalling to all the times he had tried and he'd either a) choked on his food or b) forgot about it until it went cold.
"Donnie's right," Leo asserted.
"Of course I'm right!"
"Alright," Mikey agreed, "I'll eat first, but only because I don't want to choke on this ham."
Donnie rolled his eyes and turned to Raphael only find he was no longer there. He glanced around for him but he just wasn't anywhere.
He must have gotten up and left while he was talking. But where could he have gone? Then Donnie's eyes widened, now having a dark inkling where his brother had gone.
Oh, he hoped he was wrong.
"Uh... I'll be in my room!" he announced.
"Kay," Leo replied, already far too distracted by the game to care.
Donnie walked casually down the hall until he knew he was out of sight before breaking out into a full sprint for his bedroom. Sure enough the door was unlocked and slightly ajar.
"But I locked it!" He quickly threw open the door.
Of course he was there.
Same spot. Same pose, book in his hand, reading away as though he belonged there. Donnie's eyes set into a glare. "How did you get in? The door was locked!"
"Was it? Didn't notice," Raph replied, his eyes never leaving the pages. Donatello stalked dangerously over.
"...So are you a dom or a sub?"
Donnie snatched the book angrily back, his brown eyes blazing.
"Ugh!" Raph groused. "Ya always take it at the best parts!"
"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"
Raph glanced at the book. "Shouldn't it be obvious at this point?"
Donnie scowled. "L-Look, if you want the book then go buy it... yourself," Donnie's words lost weight as Raph stood full height, staring him down with those disarming eyes. He hated how easily intimidated his brother could make him sometimes.
Though, he supposed he didn't really have much room to be intimidating with a pornographic novel in his hand.
....Raph seemed so much taller than he remembered.
"Nah, I like this one," Raph replied calmly. He stepped in close and reached over, wrapping his fingers around the book weakly clutched to Donatello's side.
"Ya never answered the question..." his voice washed low and intimate over Donnie, rooting him to the spot.
"Q-Question?" It was difficult for him to think straight with Raph so close...
Raphael leaned in, gauging every reaction, ready to maneuver the book from Donnie's deft fingers.
He repeated his suggestive question. "Dom..." he pulled, "Or sub?"
Donatello tried to form shapes with his mouth but his brain was not being quick with the uptake. "Ah-Ah I..." he took a confused, awkward step back. He violently tried to jar his thoughts back into place.
Raph smirked widely, giving his brother a mocking thump on the forehead with the blunt of his book. "...Sub," he decreed. And with a victorious turn, Raph strode back to Donnie's chair and flopped back in, feet comfortably propped, opening the book to his desired place.
Donnie stood there for a second, numb and a shell of his formal self.
Finally though Donnie kicked his senses back into place and stared hard at his brother.... reading in his seat as though he belonged there. As though he had invited him in! Donnie sifted through all of his thoughts. He was a little confused by what had transpired, but truly, it was of no consequence. What did matter was that Raph seemed to think that it was perfectly acceptable to break into his room and just lounge around all smug as if he owned the place.
This was his room! Key word: HIS.
Donatello's fists clenched angrily. He marched over and snapped the book shut harshly on his brother's thumbs and held them there tight. Raphael, though startled, was hardly off-put by the action, or Donnie's burning glare.
He was a ninja after all, trained to get out of situations like this all the time. Raph met Donnie's stare and with a simple jerk and skillful rotation of his wrists, wrenched Donnie's grip on the book. Though in consequence, he also sent it flying airborne across the room, before it landing safely on Donnie's bed. Raph glanced over at it and then locked eyes with Donnie's. It was only for an instant but they could each read the competitive glint in the other's eyes. This was a challenge.
And Raphael was not one to ignore a challenge.
He instantly made a dive for it, but Donnie was faster. He grabbed him by the wrist and threw him back into the chair, but Raph only grinned, wheeling back and spring loading a kick right to Donnie's chest. Donnie doubled over and Raph was free so he made another dive. But Donnie recovered quickly and jumped to intercept yet again, this time pulling him into a headlock. They struggled, brain against brawn, but still Raph was trapped.
"Ack!" "Ugh!" "Oof!"
"Hrrrgh..." Raph gritted his teeth and drove his knee hard into the back of Donnie's. His grip loosened and then Raph ducked out, dealing him a fierce karate chop straight to his face. Now free with him stunned, Raph scrambled again for the book. Donnie blinked his senses back just in the nick of time to sweep his leg out and trip him. Raph toppled to the floor and Donnie wasted no time launching himself on his back. Raph bucked and thrashed, craning his arm towards the book, just inches from his hand.
Finally, at long last, he felt the cover of the book on his fingertips and he wrenched himself free.
"I've got it!" he yelled, leaping up victoriously to his feet. But his victory was short lived.
A low guttural sound rolled from Donnie's throat and suddenly he was on Raph.
Raphael yelped in shock and tripped backwards onto the bed, struggling a bit under Donnie's anger-driven strength. But still he fought on, kicking and shimmying out from under him, trying to keep the book high and out of his brother's reach.
But Donatello was not about to let Raph win. Not this time.
With his left hand, Donatello violently grabbed and twisted Raph's wrist, painfully so, and the book unwillingly dropped from his hand and tumbled to the floor. Then Donnie then dealt the finishing blow, driving the heel of his palm under his brother's chin and knocking him flat on his shell. He then climbed over top of him, pinning him down by the wrists against the sheets.
Raphael panted heavily, trying to catch his breath, his brain only starting to catch up to the compromising position he was in.
Raph stopped fighting and stared up at his younger brother. Whatever this was, Donnie was in complete control. Raph wasn't quite sure if he liked it or if he didn't; but what he did know was that fierce look in his eyes had him wired. He flexed his arms against his captor's hands like a predator waiting for his prey's next move and his shell started to feel tight. A tension rose like a thick smoke, challenging him... challenging him to do something, anything. He secretly wanted to push him further, wondering what Donatello's next expression would be, but all he would do was hold still beneath his brother, staring up at him with hard, expecting eyes.
Donnie was only just starting to come down from his battle high, the strange tension rising up and settling in his throat. He didn't understand the look Raph's eyes currently had, but he squeezed his arm when he tensed, moved when he did, almost without thinking. He knew he probably shouldn't be there anymore but he couldn't make himself move, simply staring down at his brother's eyes.
And the tension grew dark. The moments dragged on much longer than appropriate. Donnie knew he should say something to right himself and put an end to all of this, but for whatever the reason proper thought was not his strong suit at the moment.
Finally Raph broke the silence with an awkward, trademark Brooklyn smile. "...Tension, huh?" Then his voice fell a suggestive low. "...What do ya want from me, Donnie?"
Donatello blinked his mind to reason and quickly let go of Raph, scooting backwards and away from his brother, nervously searching his brain for some kind of excuse. "N-Nothing!" he answered quickly.
Raph arched a brow from beneath his mask and sat up, sliding right back into a too-close-for-comfort stare. "Bullshit."
"I... I... R-Raph...." Donnie backpedaled away until he hit his shell against the footboard of his bed. Then he tried to stand but the attempt was clumsy and he fell again against his bed.
And Raph only slid closer. "You started this, Donnie." He shrugged his shoulders loftily.
"I started this? You... you were the one who kept breaking into my room... and... all this stuff..." Donnie's once vast vocabulary now failed him, seemingly just tossed straight out the window. If he could climb back any further he would, but he was at a dead end. And those green eyes showed no reprieve.
Raph mulled his words over. "Okay... maybe I did..." he admitted.
His voice was tight and he was way too close.
Donnie held his breath, his face and chest felt hot. Stupid hot. Because of Raph of all people. He swallowed, nervously waiting for Raph to play it off into some kind of joke, make fun of him as he always did...
But this time he didn't.
Those emerald eyes stared, boring into him so deep he couldn't breathe. And there was not a shred of dishonesty in them. What he saw instead was... well, it was almost like.......
Desire.
The silence dragged on and on until Donnie felt as though he were being sucked into some kind of terrifying vortex. And his brain screeched to a halt.
......Oh.
That's all he could feel was: 'Oh.'
".....Ya asked what's botherin' me..."
Donnie's mouth fell open. He was speechless. Raphael hated that silence. It was too honest. It cut into his head, rang way too loudly in his ears and he quickly got up, moving briskly towards the door.
"Wait... Raph...!" he tried to call after him, but it was too late.
He was already out and gone.